Kidnapped To Order
by anxresi
Summary: Dipper And Mabel are strolling through the woods, on a simple errand for their Grunkle Ford. Then, they spot an apparently abandoned car... Let's just say... They won't be known as 'Dipper' and 'Mabel' for much longer. And, their ordeal is only just beginning. Rated T for various disturbing elements... You can NEVER guess what'll happen next...
1. Chapter 1

"Hurry up, Mabel" said a clearly agitated twelve year old boy to his twin sister.

" I'm coming... Geez, Dipdop... Don't lose your marbles" replied the girl in question, who had predictably stopped to admire some cute critters on the way to their 'big mission'.

At least, that's how Dipper would like to THINK of it, given as it was a request from his newly discovered Grunkle (and new personal idol) Stanford.

Being as the elder relation was the author of the journals, and had noted all kinds of weird and wonderful discoveries over the years, when Stanford had first asked Dipper to go 'fetch something for him', the pre-teen boy was all ears.

Could it be...Excalibur? The Golden Fleece? Or perhaps even... The Holy Grail?

Why, the kid would do ANYTHING to please the man who'd added meaning to his drab summer... Find the Lady In The Lake... Stand in front of Posieden himself... Even fight the Knights that say "NI"!

Dipper was all awash with excitement... His heart was beating like a big bass drum... His tummy was doing the Hurdy-Gurdy dance... "THIS IS IT!" He mused to himself, as he made his way downstairs. "MY STEP UP INTO THE BIG TIME! Years from now, people will spread the legend of the child explorer, who at such a tender age, embarked on the mystical quest for..."

"A PINT OF MILK?!" Dipper stood aghast in front of his Grunkle Stanford upon hearing this most minor of tasks, and all the visions of glory, fame and getting it on with the ladiez vanished from his subconcious like celery sticks at a vegetarians convention.

Stanford looked up from his delicate work (something to do with a time continium thingie) with a quizzical expression. "Yeah, I need it for my prune saturated wheato flakes. I haven't eaten for two whole days... And I can't exactly save the world on an empty stomach. You'd be doing me a massive favour, son." The constipated genius grinned at his nephew.

Dipper, originally feeling as low as a snake's belly at being assigned such an apparently minor role in Stanford's plans, suddenly perked up on hearing those words. "So you're telling me... If you DIDN'T have your cereal this morning... You might not be in the right frame of mind to complete your research... And our only hope of annihilation would FADE WITH IT?! "(Those last three words were more of a gasp).

Stanford stopped what he was doing again for a few seconds to ponder what he'd just heard. "Well... When you put it like that... I guess..."

"DON'T WORRY, GRUNKLE FORD!" The younger Mystery Twin puffed out his chest with pride, like a robin during mating season. "YOU WON'T STARVE TO DEATH ON MY WATCH! AND AS BILL CIPHER IS MY WITNESS, I WILL GET YOU THAT EXTRACT OF COW, EVEN IF MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! I WILL GO NOW. DO NOT WEEP FOR ME IF I DO NOT RETURN, FOR I KNOW I LAID DOWN MY LIFE FOR A GOOD CAUSE!"

And, having said all that, Dipper even gave a little bow as he made his exit. He'd found his calling... And he intended to fulfil it. WHATEVER the myriad of dangers that lay ahead.

"THE MONEY IS NEXT TO THE FLUX CAPACITOR!" Stanford shouted after him, before the older Pines shook his head, muttering "That crazy kid. Reminds me of me when I was a youth. He should really find a better role model..." Before returning to his work.

Of course, as soon as Mabel found out about this 'epic adventure' (Not hard, considering the racket Dipper was making in the cellar) she INSISTED on tagging along. She even cancelled a playdate with Grenda and Candy so she could spend time with her beloved bro-bro. They were going to groom Waddles into a perfect pink princess.

Now, THAT'S a sacrifice.

As it stood, Dipper was still labouring under the misapprehension that whether he got the semi-skimmed or not could make the difference between if there were eight or nine planets in the Solar System that time tomorrow, as well as blaming Mabel as the sole reason they were making much slower progress than they should be.

Neglecting to dwell on the fact he had his nose in a journal, as always.

It was when he was in the middle of a particularly interesting passage on Man Eating Fairies when he saw it. No, not the tree he nearly walked into... In an almost exact carbon copy of the incident at the Northwest party when he collided with the stone pillar.

It was a car he spotted, in the middle of the path. Not unusual, you might think... Until, you saw the state of it. Dirty windows, covered in dents, exhaust pipe half hanging off... It looked like even more of a death trap than Stanley's vehicle.

Now, THAT was bad.

It's ideal setting would have been the junkyard that Old Man Mcgucket used to frequent (Though, not so much since he started regaining his memories), but here it was... Large as life, and blocking their route into Gravity Falls.

While Dipper stared at this eyesore of a rustbucket, Mabel finished chasing the butterfly she was pursuing, and joined her brother. "Ooooo!" Was her reaction to this motorised monstrosity, and instantly thoughts of how she could bedazzle it and improve the dreary facade started running through her head.

Dipper was about to suggest climbing over it so they could reach their destination, but then... Something happened.

The door... MOVED.

What they had assumed to be an abandoned, washed-up old banger...

Actually had an OCCUPANT.

How scary.

Not the person inside this sorry excuse for a car...

The fact that anyone would be caught DEAD driving it.

Nevertheless, the twins were still intrigued to see what kind of individual with incredibly low standards resided within.

It took a few seconds for the almost-off-it's-hinges door to creak open...

And, when the dirt and dust finally cleared...

The man who emerged was exactly as you'd expect.

He was unshaven. Mucky. He seemed to be wearing clothes that he'd stolen from a scarecrow.

And, like the character from The Wizard Of Oz, it looked like he lacked a brain.

He grinned at the children, with all of his six teeth, before saying in a rather yokelish accent "Excuse me, ya kids. Top of da morning to ya. I woz wandering... Cud you tell me yonder where Susie's caff is please?" He held out a map, obviously expecting to be given directions.

Dipper, with good reason, was somewhat suspicious of this rather poorly presented fellow, and was weighing up what to do next in his head.

As for Mabel...

Well, she was Mabel, wasn't she? She never saw any wrong in anyone.

So, of course, without any warning at all to her brother, she skipped on over to the chap, and looked at the map.

"Oh, you must mean LAZY Susan. Yeah, me and my bro-bro go there ALL the time... You should have seen him fail on the strength test mach...

"CRASH!"

That was the sound of Mabel being bashed on the head by a baseball bat. A small trickle of blood ran from her scalp... As she swayed and staggered, before finally toppling into the arms of the man, who promptly shoved her into a giant sack he had nearby.

Dipper was so taken by surprise by both Mabel's sudden movement, and the bloke's attack on her, it took him a few precious seconds to recover. A good option for him would have been to run off, call someone on his cellphone, and wait for help.

Unfortunately, when your twin is in mortal danger, all rhyme and reason goes straight out of the window.

So, he charged the scruffy man, who was more than twice his size. "GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER!"

The stranger didn't look perturbed at all. In fact he looked somewhat amused at the pre-teen's gall. He stood his ground, and...

"BASH!"

There it was again. This was to be no amazing feat of rescue like what Dipper had done to retrieve his sister from the clutches of Gideon.

Instead, HE had turned himself into a prisoner as well.

And, as conciousness faded, his last thoughts, as he was loaded into the sack alongside the prostrate figure of his sibling were:

"At least we're together."


	2. Chapter 2

Dipper suddenly felt the world return, as he woke up with the most massive of headaches. It was like the mother of all hangovers... Except, he was too young for alcohol.

His sister too, was apparently on the verge of regaining awareness from her head injury, and looked around in the darkness with utter confusion.

Both of the twins found each other, and huddled together as they heard the sound of a car moving, and felt it as well. Needless to say, it was making a LOT of noise , which kind of confirmed it was the pile of scrap that both had seen earlier while out strolling.

They had no idea how long either had been unconscious for, but after nervously staying silent for more than a few hours (their abductor, as stupid as he looked, was obviously too tough for them to handle alone, and he'd been smart enough to take the sibling's phones off them) the car ground to a halt.

At last, Dipper and Mabel heard the rev of the engine stop, and the sound of the driver's front door close, before the boot was opened and the bag containing the twins was unceremoniously bundled out.

Wondering what the heck was going to happen next, the twins strained their ears to listen outside, since the sack was securely tied which cut off all means of escape.

They heard what sounded like planes taking off. Just like... An airfield. And speaking very close nearby, a couple of unfamiliar voices above the hubbub of aircraft.

"Where did you say you found... Of course, we'll have to look at them first... Kato, open the bag, please."

All of a sudden, the sack which had been their prison for who-knows-how-long was thrust open, and the siblings caught their first glance of daylight for a while. Shielding themselves from the intensity of the glare, they were just able to make out five figures in the haze.

The weird gentleman who'd assaulted them before and put them in this predicament was standing to the right, watching the children warily. Just in front of him, were a couple of Asian looking males, who, in a complete reversal from the scruffy chap who'd delivered them there, were attired as if attending the opera... All fancy suits and bow ties.

If they looked well-turned out though, they were as nothing compared to the man and woman who made up the quintet. The moustached fellow resembled the guy from the Monopoly board, with a top hat and even a diamond encrusted cane. The lady was replete in furs and had a nose that looked like it was permanently turned up.

Both were observing the twins as if they were cattle.

After a minute of just staring at the two terrified siblings, the man with the stick finally nodded his head and remarked "Yes, I think these two will be fine. They'll need a lot of work... And we'll have to develop the boy's physical strength quite a bit, but I think they'll do..."

The wealthy man turned to his wife, who gave a similar note of approval, but added "And that girl's sweater... Sheesh! But we can fix that. Pay Cyril what we agreed, Guido."

At this confirmation, one of the Asians, who the twins had now figured out were bodyguards, took a briefcase, and handed it to the dirty man from before. He responded with a "Thanking you very kindly" before taking his ill-gotten gains and walking off, but not before giving Dipper and Mabel an arrogant wink.

Finally being given a moment's peace, Dipper lost his temper and shouted at the four strangers that remained "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH US? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? WHERE ARE WE? WE DEMAND ANSWERS. NOW!" His head was still throbbing from both the blow to the cranium he'd suffered before, not to mention the hectic journey he'd had on the way here.

"YEAH, AND WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY SWEATER, WHEN ALL YOU SEEM TO BE WEARING IS DEAD ANIMALS"? Mabel, despite her usual sunny disposition, was also in no mood to be pleasant to these people. She was addressing the hoity-toity woman now. Obviously.

Unused at being spoken to in such a disrespectful way, the pair of snobs curled their lips in disgust. "Really, the manners of the lower classes!" The lady wrinkled her pointed nose. "Well... not to worry. We'll soon ween you off of THAT. Listen to me, children. You are OURS now. We paid good money for you. It was a fair exchange. You'd do well to remember that. We will do with you, as we see fit. And now, my husband has something to say".

The man who was her other half stepped forward, and looked down at the pair of twins with a wry eye." Forget the lives you had here before. Your parents... Friends... Acquaintances... They no longer exist to you. I don't care what your old names were, either... From this day forth, you... (Pointing to Dipper) will be known as Marmaduke, and you... (Pointing at Mabel) are called Florence. Now, stop fussing about. We have a flight to catch."

"WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU!" Dipper exclaimed, with his fist held high.

"YEAH!" his sister agreed with him loudly, and the two of them stood their ground with their backs to the car, ready to make a move.

The man with the facial hair rolled his eyes, and let out a disappointed sigh. "Oh dear, I feared this would happen. Kato, Guido, please give Marmaduke and Florence something for the trip. I really don't want us to be delayed any longer."

Instantly, the two Asians stepped forward, and easily overpowered the two struggling children. Then, as the twins were pinned on the floor, a syringe was produced by both bodyguards filled with a translucent liquid, which they proceeded to pump into the restrained siblings arms...

And, like before at the car in Gravity Falls, the world started to fade for both Dipper and Mabel. The last thing they saw as they retreated into a deep, deep sleep was the glowering faces of their four captors, looking back at them with completely blank expressions.


	3. Chapter 3

The next hours (or days?) were like a fog for the twins.

They vaguely remember snatches of being in an airplane.

They briefly recalled being lifted into another car, this one much posher.

They had quick flashbacks to sensations of being manhandled, and other strange sounds...

With many, many injections along the way...

And then, the gloom faded, and the world returned to them...

At least to Mabel.

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was her jaw. It felt... Out of sync.

She instinctively reached for her braces...

But they weren't there. Someone had removed them.

This was in itself alarming news, but as the haze lifted completely, she noticed other things.

Namely, she wasn't wearing her old clothes.

She'd never been in this room before... Or in this giant four-poster bed.

And...

And...

She couldn't feel her hair bouncing off her shoulders, like she normally would.

She almost screamed.

She had to get to a mirror.

Fortunately, there was one nearby the balcony.

THE BALCONY?

Half stumbling out of the sheets she'd been firmly tucked in to

She made her way over there...

In the yellow nightdress someone seemed to have put her in.

The fact someone besides her parents, and Dipper had seen her naked was worrying enough...

But, right now, she had more important things to think about.

Like:

Where the heck was she?

Who were these people who'd abducted her?

And...

"WHAT THE HECK HAVE THEY DONE TO MY HAIR?!"

Yup, that was a scream

Enough to alert anyone downstairs

But, she really didn't care.

Her lovely, brunette hair...

That she'd spent so long growing...

Her pride and joy...

All cut off.

It had to only be a few inches long now...

It was even shorter than Dippers.

And, not only that...

It had been dyed a HORRIBLE red

Not a nice colour like Wendy's...

But a fake, synthetic looking hue.

She couldn't believe that this was her reflection...

She frantically dug her nails into her skin...

Hoping against hope that this was just a nightmare...

But, nope...

The marks of her fingernails left traces on the unfamiliar face in the mirror...

And, what's more... It HURT.

Wait a sec...

She just noticed something strange...

Well, EVERYTHING was strange about this situation...

But, this was something she hadn't spotted before.

Since when were her eyes... GREEN?

She immediately put her hands to her pupils.

She found she could move part of them about.

COLOURED contacts? Seriously?

These kidnappers had really gone to town on her.

Well, at least she could do something about THAT.

She swiftly removed the lenses from her eyes...

And was relieved to see at least one trace of herself in the brown orbs that stared back.

Still coming to terms with everything that had happened, she scanned the room again.

It was HUGE... Apart from the ginormus bed she'd woken up in...

There were three wardrobes... A personal bathroom... A big screen TV the size of a cinema screen...

And another thing she saw...

All the towels, bedsheets, the gown she had on...

Were all emblazoned with the letter 'F'.

"For Florence" she noted, grimly...

And why was it so hot?

Her answer lie outside, over the balcony.

It was because, overlooking her room...

Sat a sun-kissed beach...

Which stretched as far as the eye could see.

There was no-one about, though.

This was no great surprise... As if the rich folk who went to all this trouble of kidnapping her...

Would make egress THAT easy.

It did beg the question, though... If they were close to the coast...

Exactly how far off Gravity Falls had she and her brother been flown?

She needed answers.

And she wasn't going to get them standing there.

So, she decided to get dressed, and try to find some.

She opened up a wardrobe.

"UGH, I'm not wearing anything in THERE."

Fortunately she had another two to choose from...

She needn't have bothered, though.

They all contained more or less the same thing.

All pretty, frilly dresses in the most girlish of colours

Pink, yellow, orange, a few purple ones...

And not a pair of jeans, or even a T-shirt in sight.

And the worst part was...

NO SWEATERS!

She growled at the choices available.

Oh well, she'd have to make the best of it.

The sooner she found Dipper...

And a way out of this mess...

The quicker she could go back to being the old her.

So, with great reluctance...

She slipped on one of the purple dresses...

Along with a pair of what looked like ballet shoes.

(It goes without saying, there were no trainers.)

Before slipping away to the door of the room...

Which was surprisingly unlocked.

But, as soon as it was opened...

A siren went off.

Mabel rolled her eyes...

Figures.

She walked out into the corridor.

It was extremely long

With many other doors...

But she didn't have enough time to count them all...

Before she heard an "AHEM!" close to where she was standing.

She looked up, and saw a tanned man, dressed up like a servant staring down at her with derision.

Somehow he'd snuck up on her, without her even noticing.

"Senorita Florence." He sniffed, in an accent. "Your parents request your presence in the drawing room. Follow me."

And just like that, without another word, he took off.

Before Mabel even had to chance to correct him about her REAL name...

She did think about leaving him behind, to try and find a way out of this nuthouse...

But, she still needed to locate her brother... And tagging along with 'Jeeves' here might be her best bet now...

So, she decided to go after the butler... Through the maze of passageways and chambers...

(A person could easily get lost here...)

Until, eventually, they arrived at their destination...

The largest door that Mabel had seen that day so far...

'Jeeves' knocked on the door twice, lightly...

And it opened up.

Before Mabel knew what was happening...

She felt herself being grabbed by the scruff of the neck, and roughly examined all over...

By the same fur-adorned pointy-nosed lady from before.

"Hmm yes... I do love the hair... Reminds me of me when I was younger..."

"That ugly thing in her mouth was unnecessary... I want her teeth to develop naturally, like mind did."

That gown of mine is SO MUCH more becoming than that awful outfit she had on before...

*SNIFF SNIFF* She even SMELLS nicer... I see that bubble bath has done wonders for her aroma...

(Wait... Someone had BATHED her while she was out for the count? UGH.)

"Now let's look at those eyes... Wait... WHY ARE HER EYES BROWN?! I TOLD YOU I WANTED THEM GREEN!"

The woman glared at the butler, who for the first time showed cracks in his seemingly impenetrable demeanor.

"I... Er... Don't know, Senorita." He stammered. "The maid told me she put in the contact lenses last night... So I don't know what..."

"Oh, I KNOW alright" She replied sternly to the butler, before looking down at Mabel unpleasantly.

"You took them out, didn't you Florence? That kind of behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE. You are to wear them AT ALL TIMES. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, YOUNG LADY?!"

And with that, she clipped Mabel around the ear. Ow.

"HEY, LEAVE MY SISTER ALO... OUCH!" Came a voice from inside the drawing room.

Despite the momentary pain Mabel felt, her spirits were lifted hearing that voice. DIPPER!

She tried to brush past the rather obese form of the woman, but was swiftly grabbed by the hand.

"NOT SO FAST, FLORENCE! WE'RE GOING TO WALK IN THERE, TOGETHER... LIKE PROPER LADIES DO!" She told the pre-teen girl.

Turning back to her servant, the lady ordered him "GO UP AND FETCH HER CONTACT LENSES. I CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK AT HER WITHOUT THEM!"

'Jeeves' dutifully nodded, and rushed off to retrieve the items, leaving Mabel and the woman to walk into the large drawing room...

The first person Mabel was on the look out for was, of course Dipper... Seated near the Monopoly guy lookalike. Did her bro-bro look any different?

Of course he did. His hair had also been dyed that unflattering colour. (though, it hadn't been cut, Mabel thought ruefully.)

He was wearing a tuxedo which looked just like the one he was attired in that night at the Northwest party.

Which, along with the rest of his clothes, had the letter M on it.

"For Marmaduke." Realised Mabel. Just like all of hers (even down to her socks) had F sewn in.

They were REALLY serious about this identity change...

He was also rubbing a red spot on his ear, which was the same place Mabel had just been whacked.

"I guess these guys don't believe in hands-off discipline." She thought.

Just the realisation of that was enough to stop her from running over to her brother and giving him the most bone crushing hug ever...

And stop Dipper from asking about her missing braces, and just what the heck she'd done to her hair...

So, Mabel meekly followed the woman to a pair of nearby chairs in the gigantic room, alongside Dipper and the chap with the cane.

As soon as they sat down, the man stood up, straightened his shirt, and addressed the children formally.

"I know you two have a lot of questions. I will answer them as I see fit. You are currently at our villa in Mexico. This is your new home for the forseeable future. You already know your new first names... Your new surnames are Smythe-Kensington. We will tell you what to eat, what to drink, when to sleep and when to speak. Failure to comply with any of these rules will be met with punishments most severe. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!" His face turned red, as he screamed the last five words out.

Dipper and Mabel, still taken aback they were in MEXICO, when they hadn't even left USA before, silently nodded.

"Good". The man seemed satisfied with this response. "You can call me Papa, and that charming lady there is your Mama. During the day, we will teach you all kinds of things that you never learnt in those awful American schools I'm sure you both attended. Domestic Sciences and Housewife Training for Florence... Professional Business Ethics and Worldwide Affairs for my boy Marmaduke here." He slightly ruffled Dipper's slicked back hair, which Dipper was still too dazed to react to.

"You will also both be taking Spanish lessons, as one day I shall be leaving all this..." (He gestured to his surroundings) "To you both, and your sister... And you need to be able to communicate with the staff. I expect you to be fluent by the time you both finish being teenagers... So, study hard."

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other. Out of all the unbelievable things that had just sprung out from that mad old coot's mouth, one required urgent confirmation. "SISTER?!"

Their new 'Papa' glared at them for raising their voice, and speaking out of turn, but decided to let it go... THIS once. "Yes, your sister. Please meet Penelope Smythe-Kensington. I trust you'll look after her while we're away. She's part of your family now... Remember that."

A harried maid then entered the room, with a little girl in tow. She looked just like a minature version of Mabel... Mabel NOW, that is... With red hair... And a tiny pink dress on.

'Mama', set next to Mabel, then rose up, her girth spilling out all around her. "Penelope, here are the two siblings we promised you. See what happens when you're a good little girl? This is Florence... And the boy is Marmaduke... Say hello to them..."

Penelope didn't need to be told twice. She escaped the grasp of the tired maid, before flinging herself at the twins like a guided missile.

"FLO! DUKEY!" She'd hugged them both with deceptive strength, and she'd already decided on their nicknames.

How very cute.

From between her little hands, Dipper and Mabel looked at each other speechless.

How exactly, were they going to get out of THIS?!


	4. Chapter 4

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!" Roared Dipper, as he gently prised Penelope's hand off his neck, (after all, it wasn't HER fault they were stuck in this predicament) and stared at the unknown man who inconceivably wanted to be his 'Papa'.

He knew he was probably going to be punished for speaking out of turn, but right now he was so angry he didn't care. This whole scenario was weirder than anything he'd ever read in the journal...

OF COURSE! The journal. He'd dropped it when him and his sister were accosted by that scruffy guy in the woods. Hopefully, 'Cyril' hadn't picked it up along with their mobile phones, and someone like Stanley or Stanford would find it... See the tyre marks nearby... And be able to figure out exactly what had happened to...

His optimism was cut short by the THWACK of a leather glove across his face, which had been wielded by 'Papa'. "I SAID: DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO US! DID SOME OF THAT DIRT WE WASHED OFF YOU EARLIER GET CAUGHT IN YOUR EARS?!"

'He must have gone through the same 'clean up' routine that I did, while he was drugged up too', Mabel thought.

It looked like 'Papa' was about to aim another blow at Dipper's head, and he even braced himself for the impact... But it was Penelope who came to his rescue.

"PAPA, STOP!" She yelled, shielding the boy with her tiny frame. "Please... They've only just arrived... They don't know how things work here... Please, Papa... I'll show them... And they'll love it here as much as I do..." She pleaded with him, the beginings of tears apparent in her green eyes.

Like turning off a switch, 'Papa's' ire completely faded after hearing the little girl's plea. 'Oh, my angel... How can I possibly deny you anything? Very well... I'll go easy on them for now... I suppose it IS their first day in their new home..." He kissed the girl's forehead with his bushy lips, which earned him a giggle in response.

"Thank you, Papa... I'll make sure Flo and Dukey are the best brother and sister EVER!" Penelope linked hands with both Dipper and Mabel, and proceeded to walk to the door with the understandably nervous pair. "C' mon... I'll give you a tour." she grinned.

"JUST ONE SECOND!" 'Mama' motioned for the trio to stop, as she noticed her butler return with Mabel's contact lenses. "Put these on NOW, young lady!" the fat lady snatched the lenses off 'Jeeves', and proceeded to shove them in Mabel's sockets roughly.

"And this time... LEAVE THEM IN!" She swatted Mabel's backside with a rough slap, which made the pre-teen wince. "Now, go and spend some time with your sister... Tea will be in one hour. DISMISSED!" Then her and her husband left the room, without a second glance, to do whatever business they had to before the evening.

Penelope watched her parents leave, along with a seething Dipper, and a sore Mabel, before turning to her new adoptive siblings and laughing nervously "Er... Welcome to Mexico, Marmaduke and Florence. I'm your new sister, Penelope. Seven years old, eight next month. Pleasure to meetcha."

A FEW MINUTES LATER

"A WEEK?! WE'VE BEEN OUT FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK?!" Dipper could not believe his ears. It had been seven whole days since they'd been taken from all they knew... To be deposited in this... hellhole.

"Oh, yes... Papa said it took that long to drive you to his private airfield... Fly you to Mexico... Avoid customs... Take you down to our private villa... Get all your measurements for your new wardrobe... Make you presentable..." Penelope confirmed.

"WHAT, YOU CALL THIS PRESENTABLE?!" Said the red dyed, short haired Mabel, gesturing at her head, still aghast at losing something she'd worked hard to grown for years.

"Oh, Mama ALWAYS likes to keep my hair nice and trim, too" Laughed Penelope, who Mabel had noticed was a natural redhead. "I think you look lovely."

Mabel blushed at the compliment, even if she couldn't agree.

"So what's the deal with your parents, anyway? Why don't they just adopt a couple of kids from the orphanage, or something? Why go to such lengths to get US?" Dipper pondered the situation.

"Well, Dukey" replied Penelope, as the boy grimaced at the nickname she'd allocated him. It sounded like something... Quite unpleasant. "I think it's got something to do with their criminal convictions, so the nasty judge said they couldn't have any more children of their own"

"CRIMINAL CONVICTIONS?!" Dipper and Mabel shouted together, again.

"Tee-hee... You two are funny!" Penelope chortled "I'm going to like having you around. But, don't worry about Mama and Papa. All the charges were false, the government was just targeting us because we're rich and they're just jealous. That's why they had to find other kids... And the way they rescued you from that horrible place you were staying in, and adopted you both without a second thought, proves what lovely people they are..." She stopped to stare at the wall, utterly lost in admiration for her parents.

The twins looked at each other... Exactly how many lies had this kid been told?

Dipper decided to put her straight on a few things. "Listen, kid..."

"Pen" she replied with a grin.

"Pen?" Questioned the boy.

"Yes. Call me Pen. It's kind of a nickname my friends have for me... And seeing as you're part of my family now... I guess that qualifies you!" Penelope just kept on smiling.

Dipper and Mabel couldn't help but like her. They might have met under unfortunate circumstances, but there was something impossible to hate about this chatty, friendly little girl.

"Anyway, as I was saying, 'Pen', there's a few things you should know about us..." Dipper crounched on one knee, so he was on the child's level.

"W-what do you mean, Dukey?" Pen looked a little concerned at Dipper's tone of voice.

"Well, for a start" he began. Our name aren't..."

Before he could say anything else, he noticed his sister waving at him frantically out of the corner of his eye. He looked over there, and she pointed to two other locations. Dipper checked both of them out...

And instantly shut up.

For, installed in the ceiling, was a HD camera, recording their every move...

And, hiding around the corner, tailing them, listening to their conversation, was one of the Asian guards from the airport.

Guido, was it?

Or, the other one?

Frankly, it didn't matter...

The only intelligent thing to do, in that precarious situation, was to put a rain check on revealing the truth to Penelope, and swiftly walk on.

They didn't want to get themselves in more trouble, or involve the little girl they'd befriended just today.

So, willing to wait for another opportunity, they carried on walking... With Penelope skipping ahead, describing all the sights and sounds of this place, which was at least five times as big as the Northwest Mansion.

And although Dipper was loathe to admit it...

The 'charming' couple who lived here were even worse than Pacifica's parents.

FAR worse.

FIFTY MINUTES LATER

"RING RING" The peal of the bell rang, and it was already dark outside.

It must be time for tea.

Despite themselves, Dipper and Mabel were actually starting to enjoy themselves... Looking at some old manuscripts, chasing each other through the long corridors, sliding down the many bannisters...

Well, they had to do SOMETHING to get their mind off things.

As soon as that bell rang, though...

Penelope froze up, and looked a little worried.

'Like someone else I know' noted Dipper.

(Seriously, the parallels were uncanny.)

"COME ON FLO! COME ON DUKEY! WE CAN'T BE LATE! YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN LET OFF THE HOOK ONCE TODAY BY PAPA... I DON'T THINK HE'D DO IT AGAIN!" Penelope rushed off into the distance, looking behind her.

The twins shared a glance, before running after her. This sounded like something they SERIOUSLY wanted to avoid.

Unfortunately one factor they HADN'T taken into consideration...

Mabel wasn't used to wearing long dresses and sprinting.

So, halfway to the dining room, she tripped over... Right onto a servant who was bringing out some hot soup.

Which of course, went all over Mabel, and her brother... Who was right alongside her.

"ARRGH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" Both screamed...

Safe to say, the twins were in quite a bit of agony, their new outfits coated with minestrone.

"AND JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" That was the roar of 'Papa', who'd been alerted to the sound of falling bowls and screaming children and had come to investigate.

"Sorry Senor, it was these kids..." The waiter pointed at Dipper and Mabel, who were still in anguish on the floor, their skin all red and blotchy."They just came out of nowhere... I try to avoid them, but."

"It's okay Diego... I think they've been punished enough" 'Papa' seemed to get a sick sense of pleasure at their suffering. "And, let's just say that that soup you spilt on them was their meal for tonight. Just make sure to tell the cleaner in the morning to wipe this area down thoroughly... And if they can't get out the stain... Just replace the entire carpet!"

And, carrying his newspaper and cane, he returned to the dining room... Leaving behind two injured twins, and a very sorry looking Penelope, who'd got up from her chair to see if they were alright.

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

Having to sit at a GIANT table, at opposite ends from each other, watching a pair of snobs eat like pigs was not Dipper and Mabel's idea of fun.

But, then again, neither was having to cope with a few nasty burns, for which the pair weren't even allowed to put cold water on.

Their 'Mama' and 'Papa' hadn't even said one word to them since they'd arrived in the room Apart from to stay where they were and not put their elbows on the table.

And all this time, Penelope was eating small pieces of her dinner while listening to her parents talk about the Stock Exchange and the local economy, occasionally glancing back at the twins.

Her loyalties were a bit twisted... She DID love her mother and father, but sometimes they were unnecessarily harsh on people...

Eventually, when the last scrap of food was gone from the plates of their new 'Mama' and 'Papa', the adults rose up.

"Terrific meal today, kids... What a shame two of you never got to taste it." Smirked the overweight woman.

"Yes... Hopefully, that'll teach you to speed down hallways without looking where you're going. Remember this feeling next time you want to do something so reckless in the future... Of hunger and pain. That should stop you." Said the man with the top hat, with a trace of venom.

The twins gnashed their teeth. They REALLY wanted to say something... They REALLY, REALLY wanted to say something... But they couldn't.

It wasn't worth the risk.

"And now, it's time to watch a movie." Said 'Papa'. "Come on, Penelope, I'll let you pick this time..."

"YAY!" Screamed Penelope, hugging his legs. "Thank you, Papa... But I want Flo and Dukey to help me choose too, one we can all enjoy."

The man looked at the little girl with a neutral expression. "Oh, them? They're not coming.

Dipper and Mabel looked confused. "Then what...?"

Their question was answered in the form of two maids, and two butlers entering the room, with towels marked M and F on them respectably.

They were looking at the twins in a VERY stern way.

"We have to clean them up, of course. Then, get those expensive clothes straight in the wash. Or, we'll never get the stains out. " 'Papa' clicked his fingers, and the maids grabbed hold of Mabel, while the butlers held Dipper firm where he stood.

"WAIT A MINUTE..." Dipper started to speak... "WE CAN WASH OURSELVES YOU KNOW!"

"Huh. If the state you were in when you arrived here is anything to go by, I doubt it. Now, take Marmaduke upstairs, please. Florence can go after. Scrub EVERYWHERE. And use the expensive soap. I get the feeling they need it, with their background."

"YOU... CAN'T DO THIS... HELP!" Dipper struggled as he was frogmarched up the stairs.

"Don't worry my boy..." 'Papa' told him as he was lead away. "You've got nothing they haven't seen before... These are the same servants who took care of your hygiene needs when you first got here. Don't you remember? Oh, of course... You wouldn't." He added with a little laugh.

"And those kind maids there did the same for you, Florence. I hope you remember to thank them later." Said 'Mama' firmly.

"What?!"... NO!" Dipper shouted, as he disappeared from sight, and the sound of struggling, cursing and taps running could be heard from downstairs.

Mabel shivered. She couldn't WAIT for her turn.

Not.

TWENTY FIVE MINUTES LATER

Listening to her brother shout, "NO... NOT THERE!" "HANDS OFF!" and "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" For all this time was not a very pleasant experience.

But Mabel, sat outside the bathroom with her two maids watching her like a hawk, didn't really have much choice in the matter.

Finally, the door swung over, and a VERY agitated Dipper, clad in just a towel, ran outside.

Mabel wanted to ask him something, but he was so intent on fleeing his aggressors, he didn't notice her prescence.

The two butlers who'd been attending to him, followed in hot pursuit.

"WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO DRY AND DRESS ME AS WELL?! AARGH... THIS IS TOO MUCH!" Dipper shouted, as the servants joined him in his room, before closing the door.

Mabel shook her head. "Poor, poor Marmad... I mean, Dipper."

Forgetting of course, now it was HER turn.

"Right you, get in there now!" That was the sound of one of the maids, as she was pushed into the bathroom.

It smelt nice and sweet after it had been used, very aromatic...

Hang on... Is that a bottle of PERMANENT red hair dye on the shelf?!

But Mabel couldn't concentrate on that for long.

As soon as the door was closed, she felt herself being grabbed roughly by one of the maids, while the other one removed her dress.

"HEY... WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" She said, as she desperately tried to cover herself.

This was to no avail, as her underwear followed suit, and soon a very naked girl was being lifted up, ready to be thrown into the tub, against her will...

"KNOCK KNOCK"

That came from the door.

The maids looked at each other, before one of them got up to answer the door, while the other just held the unclothed Mabel between her legs.

The door opened...

And there was Penelope, with a towel (marked P of course) with a friendly grin on her face.

"Listen." She told the two servants " Could I take a bath with Mabel, too? Mama said it would be alright... It might help us connect as sisters. Pretty please?" She fluttered her eyes a bit.

The maids pondered this simple request. "Fine with us, senorita." One of them said."The more work we do, the more we get paid. Come up here... I'll help prepare you."

Mabel was mortified. Not only was she fully exposed in front of these two strange women... But a little kid, too? She went as red as a beet.

And what was worse, is that while Penelope was being undressed, the little girl couldn't keep her eyes off of Mabel, scanning her up and down... as if she'd never seen anyone of that age in the nude before... And the pre-teen couldn't move a inch to censor herself, as the maid behind her still had her in a firm grasp...

Her curiosity might have been innocent, but it was nevertheless hugely embarrassing.

But, suddenly all that humiliation and shame faded from her mind...

When they were plonked in the bathtub, side-by-side

As soon as the naked Penelope was presented to Mabel...

The girl was absolutely covered...

In Bruises

Cuts

Gashes

Marks

And even a few scars

If Mabel wasn't scared before...

She certainly was now.

Is that...

Is that what lay ahead for her and Dipper?

They had to get out of here...

And, they were taking Penelope with them...

She wasn't sure before...

But now she was...

No-one was safe in this building

They were going to escape...

Together.

Her thoughts were cut short by an aggressive woman with a loofah in her hand

"STAND UP, AND BEND OVER!" She bellowed to Mabel

That WASN'T a face you could argue with.

So, with great reluctance, Mabel complied.

40 MINUTES LATER

After being scrubbed here, there and everywhere

(Which was remarkedly painful, when you've just been burnt by boiling hot soup)

Mabel was just about ready to leave the tub in shame, and retire for the night.

Unfortunately, Penelope wanted to stay in and PLAY for a little while with her Barbie dolls

(Mabel was Ken, by the way)

And seeing as she was the boss's natural born daughter...

What she said, goes.

Needless to say, the two maids were in there the whole time...

(Apparently, privacy was a dirty word in these parts.)

'At last, when Mabel's skin was starting to resemble a dried up old prune's

Penelope finally got bored of her dollies...

And the two girls were lifted out of the tub, with their personalised towels wrapped round.

Mabel made her way out of the now VERY steamy bathroom...

Followed by one of the maids...

While the other took after Penelope.

"See you tomorrow Sis! It was great playing with you tonight!" The little girl gave Mabel a wave, before being ushered to her bedroom.

While en route to her own chamber, Mabel had the chance to have a quick look at Dipper's doorway.

Huh... The light seemed to be out...

And it was completely quiet...

She thought, like her, he'd be up half the night plotting their escape.

Well, tomorrow she was going to inform him there would be one extra addition to their plan.

She was sure he wouldn't mind...

Especially when she explained the state the little girl was in...

On reaching her room, she was about to ask the servant to go away, while she dried and changed...

But, then she decided not to waste her breath...

If the butlers who'd been seeing to Dipper didn't listen when he wanted to be alone...

Why should this maid?

And yet, just as the procedure was about to be undertaken...

Who should walk in, but 'Mama.'

"YOU, GO DOWNSTAIRS! You need to start helping to get rid of that soup off the floor... We have VERY important company coming tomorrow. "She barked at the two ladies, who curtsied and made their way downstairs.

Then, in the softest tone she'd heard the fat woman speak in thus far... She walked over to Mabel and said "Let's have a look at you, Florence..."

Before, removing the towel.

Mabel was starting to get fed up of this.

HADN'T ENOUGH PEOPLE SEEN HER NAKED TODAY, ALREADY?!

Her obvious anger didn't seem to bother 'Mama', who, while drying the girl off, was talking to herself.

"Hmm... The burns seem to be on the arms and legs mostly... We should be able to cover them up... Given the right foundation... Perhaps, the same one we apply on Penelope..." She muttered, examining Mabel's limb closely.

'So THAT'S how they get away with the stuff they do to their daughter' Mabel realised with a frown.

And yet, 'Mama' didn't seem to care, revealing all those family secrets to her.

Perhaps, the fat lady didn't think Mabel would ever have to chance to tell anyone who could do anything about it.

After drying Mabel's hair (Which only took a few seconds, seeing as how it was barely there now) 'Mama' wandered over to one of the wardrobes, and picked out a VERY girly pink nightdress.

"Ah, yes Florence... I do believe this would look marvellous on you. It's a larger version of the outfit you saw your sister in earlier." sighed the woman , as she put it over Mabel's head.

How odd... That that didn't sound odd. Even though they'd only met that day... Thinking of Penelope as a 'sister' was starting to sound like that most natural thing in the world.

She highly doubted she could ever describe the monster in front of her as a 'Mama', though.

When she was dressed, the lady led Mabel over to the bed, before tucking her in with such ferocity that Mabel almost felt the circulation to her brain cut out.

"Goodnight, Florence. Sleep tight. And I really mean that... We don't want to drug you again like we did with your brother, when he refused to settle down. It's a real waste of tranquilisers, isn't it? " 'Mama' then gave Mabel a big sloppy kiss on the cheek, before turning out the light and leaving.

"And don't forget... Your lessons start tomorrow. Baking cakes and cleaning kitchens. We'll teach you how to be the perfect housewife... Betcha can't wait!" That was the last thing Mabel heard from that horrible lady, before she was left in the dark.

Left to ponder how far away from home she and her brother were.

Left to dwell on all the terrible, traumatic things that had befallen her, on that day alone.

Left to think about what kind of person she'd be in a few years if this kind of treatment continued.

But, one thought stood out amongst all else...

She would be leaving tomorrow

With two to go.

And NOTHING was going to stop her.


	5. Chapter 5

Mabel was having such a lovely time... She was sitting in the Mystery Shack living room... Cuddling Waddles... Her best friends Candy and Grenda were there, too... Dipper was seated nearby, engrossed in his nerd book... The two Stans were getting along, exchanging stories about the old days... Life couldn't be any better.

At least, that would be the case if she and her brother had decided to stay home that fateful day...

All of a sudden, she was pulled out of her wonderful dream by a pair of hands at her neck, shaking her still drowsy head. "TIME TO GET UP, YOU!" A feminine voice, yet with masculine overtones, ordered.

"ALRIGHT, I'M UP! I'M UP! She rubbed her eyes, and at stared at the woman in front of her.

Yep, it was one of the same maids from last night.

The bigger, butcher one.

The one with the 'Don't Mess With Me' face.

So, unwilling to see what the consequences were for disobeying someone who looked ready to punch her in the face...

She followed the order, prising herself with difficulty from her cocoon like bed.

OUCH! Having not received proper treatment for them the day before, the burns from the other night continued to sting.

As soon as she was free of the sheets, she was scooped up without warning and carried to the bathroom-in-the-bedroom.

Then, having plopped her on the floor, the maid went to the sink and began to run the taps.

While it filled, Mabel could not help but look in the mirror at her changed appearence, once more.

No braces... VERY short red hair... And no trace of a smile. It waslike a totally new person.

Maybe she was starting to turn into this... Florence, after all.

Her thinking process was cut short by the brusque maid, who, rather than just ask her, grabbed Mabel and proceeded to wash her face, using the water from the now filled sink.

"GLUB!" Was all she could say, as the flannel even got in between her ears.

Having finished this task, the maid then proceeded to remove Mabel's pink nightgown ('NOT AGAIN!' she thought) before turning away from the unclothed girl to fetch something from the shelf.

Mabel looked at the packet. It said Skin Coloured Foundation. 'So THAT'S what my ogre of a 'Mama' meant when she said she was going to cover up my burns'. The girl thought, as the stuff was pasted all over her legs and arms which had been splashed by the hot soup.

Finally, when the maid had done such a thorough job you could barely see a trace of any red on the flesh, the servant marched Mabel back into the bedroom and proceeded to begin to pick her clothes out for the day.

The female twin glanced out of the window of the balcony, overlooking the beach. It looked like it was going to be a glorious day, but there was still no sign of anyone. 'Funny' she mused 'With a location as nice as this, you'd think they'd be a lot more people around. I wonder where exactly in Mexico me and Dipdop are...'

The maid had a heap of clothes in her hand, and forcibly guided the static Mabel onto the bed, where the servant began to organise the garments.

"Look, can I dress myself please?" Mabel dared to ask.

"SHUT UP!" Came the bellowing response, as she took Mabel's foot to slide a sock on it... Marked F, of course.

TEN MINUTES LATER

After changing Mabel into one of the most glamorous outfits she'd ever seen (a lovely orange dress with ruffles... The pre-teen girl would have loved it, if it wasn't for the situation). She was led down to the dining place. At this point, Mabel was absolutely starving... Having not eaten all day yesterday due to the collision with 'Diego'.

She got into the room with the HUGE mahogany table, and noticed three figures in there.

Her 'Papa', who looked up briefly from the financial column, before burrowing his head back in it.

Her 'Mama', who seemed a lot more interested in Mabel's entrance, and was even now making her way over there.

And Penelope, who was attired in EXACTLY the same orange dress as her newly adopted 'sister', also got up from her half-eaten breakfast, to greet Mabel's arrival.

Penelope got there first, and flung her arms around the pre-teen girl's felt good to Mabel... But it reminded her of the affection her REAL parents gave her. Damn... She missed them...

"Good morning, Flo!" Beamed an excited Penelope. "I hope you slept well. Here, come and sit next to me..." Mabel felt her hand being grabbed, as the smaller girl began to lead her around the table.

"WAIT JUST A SECOND, PENELOPE!" Excaimed 'Mama' as she stopped the pair in their tracks. "There's just a few things I have to check with Florence, and then you can eat together."

Penelope looked disappointed, but still obeyed her mother's command. "Okay, Mama."

The obese woman smiled at her daughter by birth. "Don't worry sweetheart, this won't take too long." She held Mabel in place, and gave her a thorough examination, like the night before.

"Oh yes, this is perfect..." She said, scrutinising Mabel's arms and thighs." You can barely see a thing... we can present her to our guests later, now. And she's even wearing her green contacts!" 'Mama seemed very pleased at the results, and turned to Mabel's maid, who was still lingering in the doorway.

"Christina, you did such a WONDERFUL job, I'm going to give you a 1% raise, and appoint you as Florence's official maid. You will get her up every morning, dress her, wash her, and make she adheres to the founding principals of the Smythe-Kensington family. Is that understood?" 'Mama' asked her servant.

Despite what Mabel thought was a pretty mearge wage increase, Christina's face seem to light up like a Christmas tree upon hearing this news. "Gracias, Senorita. I will do my best to not let you down." She gave a short curtsy, before leaving the room.

"It's fine now, Penelope... You can take your sister and be seated. I'm more than happy with how she looks for the big party we're having later on." Mabel felt herself being given another big, sloppy kiss on the cheek by her 'Mama', before she was released.

It was a point of debate who had more facial hair, Mama or Papa.

Nevertheless, an excited Penelope led Mabel to the chair next to her, and said "What would you like for breakfast, Flo?"

Mabel thought for a minute, and decided to risk it. "Do you have any Cutie Flakes, Pen?"

Penelope looked confused. "Cutie Flakes, what are they?"

"Sounds like the typical sugar filled rubbish American children snack on all the time... No wonder they're all so fat." That was Papa, who was folding up his newspaper while glaring at the children. "Listen Florence, now that you're a member of this family, you'll eat a PROPER breakfast, which means none of that crap I'm sure that used to make you hyperactive all the time..."

"Er... I don't know what you're talking about..." flustered Mabel. Papa's words had cut pretty close to the bone.

"It doesn't matter that you don't." He scoffed. "All you need to do is do what we tell you. And right now you have a choice between muesli and kippers. So, which is it to be?" Papa fingers tapped on the table, impatiently...

'What?' thought Mabel. She knew what Muesli was... Her grandmother had it all the time to help her 'clear her bowels' as the old lady put it. It tasted like rabbit food... And even though Mabel loved bunnies, she certainly didn't want their chow.

So, she decided to take a shot in the dark. "Er... Can I try the kippers, please?"

For the first time since she met him, 'Papa' gave her a genuine smile. "Ah, English smoked kippers. They're my favourite too. Perhaps you ARE my daughter, after all. And, just think... One day, when you're married, you can make them for your husband. DIEGO!" 'Papa' loudly snapped his fingers, and the clumsy waiter from the evening before appeared. He was wiping a glass, and glaring at Mabel.

"Get Florence here some kippers. Oh, and see if Marmaduke has woken up yet... The effects should have worn off by now." 'Papa' ordered, and Diego nodded his head in return. "Yes, of course, sir" before leaving, but not before giving Mabel another angry look.

Mabel listened to the conversation with concern. She whispered to Penelope. "Pen, what is he talking about 'the effects wearing off'? Have they done something to Dip... Er, I mean Marmaduke?" She hastily corrected herself.

Penelope put a spoonful of Muesli in her mouth, apparently unphased. "Oh don't worry Flo, they only put the magic needle in him because he refused to go to bed. Sometimes they use it with me, when I can't get to sleep. Works everytime! What a wonderful, caring mother and father we have, right?" Penelope continued to eat her food.

Mabel was about to say something incendiary, but then she realised that both 'Mama' and 'Papa' were both taking a keen interest in what was being said, despite both pretending to look the other way.

So, she bit her tongue. "...Right" came the less than truthful response.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Mabel was picking at her food. It looked like some kind of... Fish? But, very flat, and very cooked. She took a bite...

YUCK!

It took an amazing feat of willpower to not spit the wretched thing out, there and then. THAT WAS DISGUSTING! How anyone could eat such a horribly tasting dish was beyond her...

And yet, 'Papa' was watching very closely, and she'd already found out it was one of his favourite foods, and by disrespecting it, and knowing what he was capable of already...

No, it wasn't worth the aggro.

So, like the trooper she was, she ended up scoffing down the whole vile concoction in five bites, while wearing the face of someone who'd just eaten a big bowl of chocolate ice cream.

'Papa' looked approvingly at her, which made her feel kind of happy for a minute...

'HANG ON... WHY SHOULD I CARE WHAT THAT MONSTER THINKS?' her internal memo blared out. Surely she wasn't... Succumbing to their brainwashing?!

No, it was relief. Yeah, that was it... Relief that he wasn't going to shout at her again. Phew. Crisis over. She wiped the fish grease off her face...

...And in came Dipper.

Except, it was a very battered looking Dipper. He had a cut lip, a black eye, a bruise on his cheek and a slight limp... He looked around with bleary eyes, before noticing his sister and Penelope sitting together, and made his way over there.

"STOP, BOY!" That was 'Papa', raising his voice again. "THE MEN SIT THIS SIDE... DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT FROM YESTERDAY?!"

"B...b...but I thought... That was just..." Stammered Dipper.

"No, that is the permanent arrangement we have here. I'll overlook your mistake this time... But if it happens again, I'm afraid you'll be eating your meal on the floor." 'Papa' told him, with malice.

"Y...y...yes, sir." Dipper meekly agreed.

Mabel felt terrible for him. She'd NEVER seen her little brother look so... Broken, before now.

"That's my boy, Marmaduke. Now, you come over next to me, and sit down. You had a nasty fall down those stairs this morning, DIDN'T YOU?!" He glared at the boy, which caused the pre-teen to whimper a little. "You need to rest. What would you like for breakfast? As I was just telling Florence, you can have muesli or kippers. DIEGO, COME HERE!" 'Papa' shouted for his hired help.

When no one arrived after a few seconds, 'Papa' began getting very hot under the collar. He started hyperventilating, and Mabel swore she started seeing steam coming out of his ears, like that bath she was forced into taking last night.

"SORRY ABOUT THIS MARMADUKE, YOU JUST CAN'T GET THE STAFF THESE DAYS!" He shouted at the top of his voice. "STAY THERE... I'LL SORT THIS OUT!" 'Papa' grabbed his cane, and sauntered out of the room, followed closely by his wife.

"CHARLES, DO TRY TO CALM DOWN... REMEMBER WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID ABOUT YOUR CHOLESTEROL!" She pleaded.

"MAVIS... LEAVE ME ALONE! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" Came 'Papa''s response, as the two made their way to the kitchen.

As soon as they were sure they were alone, Mabel reached over the huge table (with difficulty) and took her brother's hand. "What happened to you, Dipper? Did you REALLY fall down the stairs?" She added skeptically.

Dipper rolled his one good eye. "What do YOU think, genius? All I did was try to pick my own clothes this morning... And those two idiot butlers just beat me up! I mean... Would YOU wear something like this by choice?" He motioned to the suit he was wearing, which looked like it belonged to a fifty year old midget banker.

"You shouldn't try to argue with the servants, Dukey..." Penelope said, taking Dipper's other hand. "They get their orders directly from Mama and Papa, so disobeying them is like disobeying our parents. I've learned that since the day I was born." The twins thought they saw a scared expression pass by Penelope's face for a second, but it soon faded.

The significence of it didn't escape Mabel, however, who'd seen all the little girl's injuries the other night...

Mabel was shocked at the treatment of her brother, and Penelope's obvious discomfort about her parents sealed the deal. They had to get out there as soon as possible.

But how? The place seemed more secure than Fort Knox. There were people watching them wherever they turned. And (this could be the most difficult task of all) how could they convince Penelope to leave somewhere she's lived all her life, to take a giant step into the unknown?

She wasn't sure. But if she wanted to start planning, it had to be now.

But before she could say anything else, Penelope had a question.

"Er... Dukey?" wondered the little girl.

"Yes, Pen?" replied Dipper, as he rubbed his swollen eye.

"I was just thinking... Why did Flo call you 'Dipper'?" Penelope was your typical curious seven year old.

"Oh, that's just on account of my birthmark... See?" Dipper showed her his forehead. "Just like the Big Dipper. Do you understand?"

Penelope looked baffled. "No, what's the Big Dipper? Can you tell me?"

Dipper frowned. "What, you've never heard of it? It's a star system! You know, astronomy... The sky, planets..." He got more and more exasperated, as Penelope looked more and more confused with each word. "What, didn't they teach you that at school?"

Penelope suddenly cheered up, as if she understood. "Oh, I get it! That's Useless Information!

Now, it was Dipper and Mabel's turn to be confounded. "Useless Information?!"

Penelope giggled. "You two are always doing that... saying the same thing at the same time... It's a term I've heard from my Papa that he uses to describe any facts or figures that we can't use. He tells me 'What's the use in learning Maths, English or any of that other rubbish, Penelope? That's not going to put the slippers on your future husband's feet, or get the limescale off the drain, or cook a delicious meal for your entire family.'

"So" she continued, to an amazed Dipper and Mabel, whose jaws had hit the floor. "They teach me at home... Away from those awful schools that don't teach you ANYTHING practical in life. I clean. I cook. I knit. You don't have to learn about things like star systems to do THAT. That's why he calls it 'Useless Information'. And now you're here with me, Florence, we can do it all together! Soon, you'll forget all that pointless junk you learned over in America, and be the best homemaker in the entire world... Next to me, of course!" She giggled.

This was too much for Mabel. First... Her hair. Then... Her identity. And now... They expected her to be a STEPFORD WIFE?! NO. FREAKING. WAY.

Although, the knitting part sounded quite good...

BUT, NO. She wasn't having this. That was the final straw. She was about to tell Penelope EXACTLY where she could shove her 'Domestic Training'...

Until, she saw the excited look in the little girl's eyes...

And she stumbled on a realisation.

This is a child who had suffered, by the looks of it, for pretty much all her life...

She's been both mentally and physically abused, and has been all alone in her suffering...

Until, now...

To pull the rug out from under her so quickly, to challenge her beliefs without warning, might damage her irreparably...

And ruin the strong bond that Mabel had started to develop with her...

She would have to treat the subject with immense caution...

Penelope deserved that...

So, for now, Mabel decided to play along.

"You're right Pen... But I bet I can stitch a sweater in half the time YOU can!" The pre-teen girl laughed.

"You're on!" Penelope's eyes sparkled, and lifted Mabel's spirits immeasurably.

Suddenly, she found herself being taken to one side, by a dumbfounded Dipper. "Mabel, what are you doing? You're telling me... You REALLY want to go through with this?!" He asked.

"No, of course not, Dipstick!" Mabel sighed at her brother's idiocity. "I'm as desperate to get out of here as you are. Look... It's complicated... I'll explain later..." He said, as 'Mama' And 'Papa' came back into the dining room.

"Here you go, son." 'Papa' told Dipper, as he put a plate of kippers in front of the boy. "I'm afraid you won't be seeing Diego for awhile... He's had to take a bit of time off work." He wiped something red off his cane onto a serviette.

"Anyway, eat up. children. Your lessons start this morning, before the big party tonight. Marmaduke, you'll be in the office with me... And Florence and Penelope will be in the kitchen with Mama." He returned to reading his paper.

"That's right!" 'Mama' smiled. "Don't forget to bring your aprons!"

Penelope gripped Mabel's hand with excitement and beamed at the older girl, while Mabel gave the younger female a fake smile back. What the heck had the rest of the day got in store?!

She suddenly heard Dipper urgently whispering to her, pointing at his plate of kippers.

"What on EARTH are these?!" He asked.


	6. Chapter 6

After Dipper had SOMEHOW managed to force his horrible breakfast down without retching and Mabel had made a mental note to ask for muesli next time (Better the devil you know), 'Mama' (Real Name: Mavis) stood up and motioned those on her side of the table. "Come on girls, your classes begin now."

Penelope happily skipped ahead, dragging a not-exactly-enthusiastic Mabel all the way. 'What do I know about cooking' the sweater lover pondered 'I LOVE eating it, but making the stuff?! A thousand times NO.' The only experience she'd had that even vaguely resembled it were some friendship cookies she'd made for her and Dipper while she was still in kindergarten, made out of plasticine, with buttons as decorations.

They hadn't turned out the best.

In the meantime, 'Papa' (Alias: Charles) had turned to Dipper and said: "Now, Marmaduke, you'll be helping me with my business affairs today. This will be the start of a long, difficult road for you... But one day, you will be the head of this household, so I expect you to listen to every word I say. Otherwise, do you know what THIS is for?" The man brandished his cane again, which by now had had all the red stuff washed off, and it's diamond tip was looking as sparkling as ever.

"Y...y...yes Sir!" said Dipper, still fearful of receiving a second beating of the day, and wondering just what the heck his 'Papa' had done to poor Diego. He knew the servant had landed him and his sister in trouble yesterday, but surely the poor guy didn't deserve... Whatever had happened to him... to be laid off work for an indefinite period.

As he followed the madman down the corridor, Dipper was already thinking about that evening. Both of his fake parents had mentioned something about a 'party'... Which would mean... They'd be a lot of people there... And security might be a bit stretched... And maybe, just maybe, a chance for him and his sister to escape.

Or, perhaps he could try to get some help from one of the guests. Surely not ALL rich people could be as bad as the Smythe-Kensingtons... He may have thought that at some stage, but after getting to know Pacifica properly and befriending her, he had come to the conclusion that his biases were a bit prejudiced. On the other hand, was it WORTH taking the risk that the person he'd confide in might be one of the close allies of 'Mama' and 'Papa'? Perhaps not.

His other options were a bit scarce. He hadn't seen ANY phones since he'd arrived that he could secretly use, just the walkie talkies a few of the servants seemed to use to correspond with each other. How he wished he still had the journal he'd dropped the day they were spirited away... He hated these people so much, he'd almost do a deal with Bill to turn them into heaps of sludge on the floor.

And then there was Mabel, and the strange new friendship she'd noticeably started with Penelope. He didn't fail to notice the caring looks they'd exchanged over the breakfast table... In fact, though he was loathe to admit it, he was starting to get a bit jealous. 'Sure, Penelope is a nice girl and everything' he thought (And a positive SAINT compared to her mother and father) 'but why is she so clingy with my sister? Well, Mabel said she'd tell me everything later, so I guess I'll have to wait 'til then...

In the midst of his deliberations, Dipper suddenly felt a tug on his ear. "COME ALONG MARMADUKE! Don't stand there dawdling, and catching flies with your mouth. This is one of the most important days of your life... The day you start to TRULY become my son, and learn the tricks of my trade. So, HURRY UP!" The pre-teen was dragged by his lobe to the office.

"OUCH!" Dipper refused to cry out, because that would make 'Papa' even angrier. 'The sooner we get out of here, the better'. Dipper thought, as he entered the big study, before being lifted painfully up by his lobe and shoved into a chair next to a large computer.

MEANWHILE:

Penelope was so enthralled at the prospect of baking with her new 'big sis' she would not stop giggling. 'That used to be me, back when I actually had something to laugh about' sighed Mabel. Nothing would make her happier right now to have a water balloon fight with her twin, or play 'Hunt The Waddles' with her best friends. Instead, it was like being stuck in the worst reformary of all time... Damn, she missed Piedmont and Oregon. She wondered if she'd ever be able to return.

Or even, go back to her own COUNTRY.

"Right you two, your aprons are by the door..." That was Mama, in her typical, aggressive, blunt voice." You'll know which one is which by the insignia... And PENELOPE! Get that stupid smile off your face this instant... This is a cookery class, not a comedy club!"

Penelope withdrew into herself, knowing better than to poke the hornets nest with a stick when the insects were angry. Mabel stopped herself from saying something out-of-turn for about the thousandth time since her arrival.

Walking over to the hook attached to the door, they saw a pair of aprons. One with the letter P emblazoned on it, and the other saying F. No prizes for guessing who was supposed to wear which. First Mabel, put her's on, they helped Penelope tie her's.

They approached the main working top of the kitchen together, a place which was absolutely surrounding by fridges, freezers, cupboards, drawers, shelves... It was absolutely huge. 'Not surprising, when you consider the size of the rest of the house' Mabel noted.

All the chefs and waiters had been told to vacate the premises for four hours at least, so the 'young ladies' could have their lessons, but Mabel couldn't help but notice one corner of the room looked in a bit of disarray compared to the spotlessness of the rest... With pots and pans on the floor, and some suspicious red stains on the floor...

Mama didn't seem bothered by the mess, or maybe she just didn't care. She began by giving a speech: "Hello girls, and welcome to your cookery class. Obviously Penelope has had plenty of these before, but today we welcome the newest member of our prestigious family... Florence. We never thought we'd have another child again, after those nasty rumours spread about us in America. But here we all are now... In another country, in another life... And two new Smythe-Kensingtons who I'm sure will overcome their rough upbringings, and become just as much a part of our brood as if I'd given birth to you myself."

'Geez' thought Mabel. 'What a scary image.'

"And now, like all little girls from our illustrious lineage, it's time to turn you two into proper ladies. By the time you come of age at 18, we shall expect you both to be wed. That will mean your new husband will want a woman around the house who will be able to take care of all the domestic affairs, while he's hard at work. First and foremost amongst those required skills is cooking. Lunches. Meals. Desserts. Snacks. You will need to acquire these talents for many occasions, which is why you're lucky you've got an excellent teacher here to show you what to do". She added with a hint of pride.

Penelope nudged Mabel with a grin. "Isn't Mama something, Flo?"

"Er... Yeah... She saw is, Pen" said a dazed Mabel, trying to process everything at once.

"Today, because I know that it's Florence's first day here, we'll start off with something easy. A lasagne, made from only the finest ingredients of course. Your laminated menu sheets are at your respective work stations. You both have plenty of room to chop, mix and stir, and I will be here if you need any assistance. Don't forget to follow the EXACT measurements, or you'll just end up with a dog's dinner. And we both remember what happened the LAST time you messed up this recipe, DON'T WE PENELOPE?!" She gritted her teeth at the little girl.

"Er... Yes, Mama" replied Penelope meekly. Mabel just said to herself 'BREATHE'... 'BREATHE'... 'Don't say a word...' 'You'll only make things worse for you both...'

"Okay, you both have four hours to finish the dish to my satisfaction, and then clear your work stations. Everything you need for preparation is on the main table. So without further ado... BEGIN!" 'Mama' then pulled up a chair, and sat her ample frame down to read a copy of 'Housewives Digest' while helping herself to what looked like some very expensive individually wrapped chocolates. She wasn't going anywhere.

And neither, as she started perusing her cookery sheet and hastily getting the inventory together for the task at hand, was Mabel.

MEANWHILE...

Dipper was quite good with computers. He was also decent when it came to addition and subtraction. So, he surpised his 'Papa' with managing to quickly calculate just how much his stocks and had gained or lost since the previous week.

He had also managed to set up a spreadsheet for final income per annum, as well as calculate the amount of overdraft the running of their mansion cost... And whether 'Papa' could afford to let any inessential staff go.

What he DIDN'T know is how exactly the older man made all his millions. Dipper did try to broach the subject on a couple of occasions, but the nasty glare he got from his 'Papa' (who he was now sure was a grade A psychopath) warned him not to push the issue.

But even though he was doing well, it didn't mean to say he was particularly ENJOYING his work. In fact, it was as boring as an extra long detention.

And it was because of this, and down to the fact that 'Papa' had got up from the computer for a split second, to get a cup of Earl Grey tea, that was the cause of what happened next.

Finally free of the man's never ending attention for a few blessed seconds, and feeling light-headed at the tedium of the last few hours, he couldn't help but relax.

Big mistake.

"MARMADUKE, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" That was the sound of Papa, as he dropped his hot beverage, to push Dipper off the computer onto the floor, while the older man stared at the screen with horror.

You see...

Dipper had nodded off.

On the keyboard.

And somehow, he had deleted a month's work by pressing random keys

Whoops.

'Papa' was not best pleased. In fact, he looked like a volcano ready to erupt. Evacuate the villagers, everyone... Women and children first.

Unfortunately, one child who didn't look like he was going to be saved was poor Dipper, still on the ground, desperately crawling away from the red-faced man in front of him, ready to commit major GBH with his cane.

"Er... Don't you have a party tonight?" Dipper desperately tried to stop him in his tracks. "If you want to present me to all your guests... You'll go easy on me..."

"Oh don't worry, " The insane old coot said with relish. "I won't be breaking any bones, and the professional make up people we have here can cover pretty much all abrasions. After all, I've been using them to help me cover my daughter's little 'accidents' for years. So, don't worry on my account. Now, come on over here..."

"What was that you just..." Dipper started his sentence.

But he was cut off by a loud...WHACK!

MEANWHILE

Things weren't going much better for Mabel. She was SURE she'd followed the instructions to the letter. She was SURE she'd put in the correct amount of everything. She was SURE that she'd set it to be cooked at the right setting in the time suggested on her worksheet.

It still came out a mess.

Penelope had tried to help her, but with Mama's shouted insistance that each girl did 'everything herself', her adopted little sister's attempted input was stifled to say the least.

And here she stood, with what could only be described as a flaming wreck, waiting to be judged by the older lady, like a death row inmate waiting in line at the gas chamber.

It looked like Penelope had done MUCH better though, with a delicious looking meal that Mabel would never guess had been made by the hands of a seven year old. She was almost bubbling over with joy at her accomplishment, while still remembering to cast a sympathetic glance Mabel's way.

'Not that that's going to help me with what's bound to come next' thought Mabel, ruefully.

Mama approached hthe former braces wearer slowly, like a snake encircling it's prey. First, she looked at the burning heap in front of her. Then, she smelt it. Finally, after staring at Mabel for a split-second with an unidentifiable expression, she picked up a fork...

And TRIED it.

Mabel watched her miserable attempt at a dish go round and round in Mama's mouth... As the older lady seemed to analyse every facet of it...the texture... the flavour... The TASTE.

And all this time, Mabel was biting her nails... Her uneven jaw taking away huge pieces of nail... As she hoped against hope... That she had somehow made a culinary masterpiece...

YUCK! *SPIT*

That was the sound of Mama nearly choking with disgust on the horrible excuse for food in her mouth, before regurgitating it at record speed into a perfumed hankie she always carried with her. After recovering from the ordeal of nearly poisoning herself (with the help of a few sips of imported water) she was ready to confront Mabel.

"Oh no, here it comes'... Thought the frightened girl, as the not inconsiderate bulk of Mama towered over her. 'I wonder if they have instruments of torture here too...' she wondered.

But, surprisingly enough, the beating of a lifetime never arrived.

Instead, she was grabbed like a ragdoll and given a firm hug ,while her Mama started talking to her in an empathic voice.

"My sweet, sweet child. I Didn't expect you to be an expert at this straight away, but I never realised things were THIS bad. Have things in America really deteriorated that much, that girls your age can't even prepare a simple meal with passable results? Thank goodness we found you when we did... We'll do this every single day until you get it right. Then, we'll move onto the next recipe... And, the next one... And, I am confident that in time... You'll be as good a homemaker as I am, along with all the other lessons I plan to teach you. So, don't worry. I'm not going to punish you... Today." She reassured Mabel, while crushing the pre-teen girl between her heaving bosoms.

Mabel wasn't sure which was worse... The future she'd just had telegraphed to her, or being squashed to death by a pair of oversized breasts.

Finally, she was allowed to go free... But not without being given ANOTHER sloppy kiss on the cheek. 'I'll have to remember to duck in the future' thought Mabel, wiping the area down while 'Mama' turned around to concentrate on Penelope.

"OH DARLING!" Exclaimed Mama, in surprise delight. "THAT LOOKS SIMPLY MARVELLOUS!" She took a bite. "AND IT TASTES AS GOOD AS IT LOOKS! YOU'VE REALLY LEARNED YOUR LESSONS FROM LAST TIME! Of course, I can't give you all the credit... After all you do have ME telling you what to do!" . She added smugly.

'I see humbleness is rampant in the Smythe-Kensington family' Mabel thought sarcastically, as Penelope hoped around with jubilation.

"And as a special treat, we'll serve it tonight along with the rest of the party menu, and I'll tell everyone my darling youngest daughter was the one who made it!" Mama practically showered Penelope with compliments, and, as the little girl was unused to this kind of effusive praise from her mother, she was practically bursting with excitement.

Mabel smiled wryly at the smaller girl's hysteria "At least ONE of us is happy."

Unfortunately, that delirium was going to come at a cost.

You see, despite having being victim to various assaults caused by similar acts of defiance in the past...

Penelope couldn't help but think of how wonderful her mother had desctibed her lasagne...

She couldn't wait for tonight...

She had to try it NOW.

So, using the same fork her Mama had just put down...

She stood up on her tippy-toes to reach the baking tray...

And took the smallest of pieces...

Just to see what it was like...

The fork was nearly in her mouth...

SMACK!

That was the sound of Mama, who had been on her way back to her chair, noticing her disobedient younger daughter's actions, before the older lady ran there to give her a strong slap across the face.

Penelope crashed right into the oven as a result of the heavy blow. Sadly, her lasagne was on top of the cooker, and the impact had the undesired effect of knocking it on the floor and spilling it all over the place.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU!" Mama fumed, as Penelope lay crying on the floor... "I JUST SAID THAT WAS FOR TONIGHT... SO NO TASTING! UNFORTUNATELY... THANKS TO YOU NEVER LISTENING TO A WORD I SAY, ALL THOSE INGREDIENTS... AND ALL THAT TIME AND ENERGY I SPENT TODAY HELPING YOU MAKE IT SO GOOD HAS GONE TO WASTE!" She paused for a second. "Unless..."

She grabbed hold of a still snivelling Penelope by the scruff of her neck. "I want you to eat every single piece of this mess off the floor... And lick it clean afterwards. Then, hopefully you'll remember next time I tell you to do something... YOU'LL DO IT! Now, get cracking... You two have a parlour to vacuum and polish this afternoon."

Mabel, watching all this going on, had two opposing emotions going around in her head.

The first was Hate, telling her "YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING, WHAT SHE'S DOING TO THAT POOR LITTLE GIRL IS DESPICABLE!

The other was Caution, which informed her "Keep quiet, and you won't get hurt. She's going to punish the girl whether you speak out or not... So, why bother putting yourself in jeopardy?"

The two emotions were battling it out for supremacy...

Who would win?

The fight was only settled once Mabel heard Mama tell the sobbing little girl, on the ground, chewing up every piece of food like a mangy dog "You missed a bit behind the table. Eat it all, NOW." Before giving Penelope a little prod with her foot.

THAT. WAS. IT.

The winner? No contest.

"HOW DARE YOU TREAT YOUR OWN DAUGHTER LIKE THAT! "Mabel screamed, stunning both Mama and Penelope. ALL SHE'S EVER DONE IS LOOK UP TO YOU... RESPECT YOU... LOVE YOU... AND YOU ACT LIKE SHE'S SOME KIND OF SLAVE! AND DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T SEEN ALL THOSE MARKS ON HER BODY... SOME OF THEM SCARS FROM YEARS AGO! AS SOON AS ME AND MY BROTHER GET OUT OF HERE, WE'RE GOING..."

"You're going to do WHAT?!" Mama had recovered from the surprise of being shouted at so vehemently, and was even now making her way over to Mabel. "Perhaps me and your Papa didn't make ourselves clear enough earlier... And maybe it's time to repeat a few things..." She picked up a thrashing Mabel by her short hair (ripping out a few bunches in the process) , before depositing her on the central table, on her back, with her butt raised.

Despite her own distress, Penelope still had the presence of mind to know what was going to happen next. "MAMA, DON'T! SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT!

Mama turned away from the struggling Mabel for a minute. "No, Penelope. I know EXACTLY what she meant. And, now it's time to teach her a few rules around here... The same way we've taught you..." She then proceeded to lift up the ruffles of Mabel's dress, before pulling down her underwear.

"STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Mabel screamed, before the first smack landed on her naked backside.

*SMACK!* YOUR NAME IS FLORENCE SMYTHE-KENSINGTON!

*SMACK!* YOU LIVE IN MEXICO!

*SMACK!* I AM YOUR MAMA, AND PAPA IS YOUR FATHER!

*SMACK!* YOU WILL DO WHATEVER WE SAY!

*SMACK!* THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM HERE!

There then followed five more slaps: DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. LITTLE. GIRL. Each one harder than the last, before Mabel was quite literally dropped crying on the ground, with her rear as red as a stop light.

"Now, let's hope you both learn from this experience." commanded Mama, as she approached the sink while a tearful Mabel swiftly put herself in order. "NEVER question me or Papa. We love both of you, and what we inflict on you now hurts us a lot more than it does you. But, if it is necessary to keep you both on the right path, we will do whatever it takes. I especially hope YOU Florence, won't be as unruly as Penelope has been up until now... Then, maybe you won't have as many marks as your sister."

She paused while washing her hands. "Well what do you know. Charles was right... really IS easy to wash blood off the skin."

Then, after drying each finger individually, she addressed the two girls again, who were now cowering under the giant table itself, holding onto each other as if for dear life, bawling their eyes out. "Oh, stop the waterworks! It's most unladylike. Lunch is in a few minutes. You better be there... You both still have a LOT of work to do this evening before the party. So, HURRY UP!" She then left the room, humming a happy tune.

Mabel and Penelope didn't feel like joining in.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN GRAVITY FALLS...


	7. Chapter 7

Stanley Pines approached the front door of his place of habitation with a sigh. He'd just returned from shopping, after going so many days without even eating. He carried his heavy shopping bags through the entrance, before shutting it, and looked around at his deserted store with a depressed sigh.

There was no little squirts around for him to order to put up signposts outside. No cuddles awaiting him from a pre-teen girl clad in a warm sweater. No overweight man-child to fix his overflowing toilet. No sarcastic lanky redheads for him to lecture to about slacking while on duty.

In fact, with the exception of his genius brother (who, in a completely unheard of move, hadn't touched his research for days now) the place was completely abandoned... The associated bric-a-brac on the shelves dusty, forgotten, irrelevant.

You see, the Mystery Shack was shut down.

Possibly forever.

Ever since... THAT day.

Stanley grimaced thinking back. When he first heard the twins had gone missing... He thought they were just involved in one of their 'wild' adventures. Ford had assured his brother that he had sent the twins out HOURS ago without thinking (He was in the middle of a particularly taxing equation) and in hindsight, asking a couple of twins to walk through some dangerous woods just to get a pint of milk was not only lazy, but downright reckless.

Stanley didn't listen to him. The master con-man was in the middle of showing a delegation of gullable (what other kind were there?) tourists the wonders of the Mystical Magnet, that would take quarters from their outstretched hands, but not give them back. AMAZING!

When Stanley was asked to at LEAST see if his niece and nephew were okay by his worried brother, he accused his sibling of overthinking stuff as usual, and he should go back to the basement because he was making the punters uneasy with his talk of 'dangers outside'.

Ford was partly at fault here, too. He ignored his better judgement and listened to his irresponsible brother, shut off his concern and returned to his calculations... Using them to block out the paranoia that was seeping into his sub conscience.

Hours past. The customers left, Wendy and Soos said goodnight before departing, and the sign was switched from OPEN to CLOSED. Stanley was in the middle of counting his loot for the day, in a reasonably chipper mood. He'd made a killing on Gnome Yoghut (actually expired milk, but the suckers believed the claim that it stopped the aging process) and sold out of the last of his locks of 'GENUINE' unicorn hair (because, as everyone with half a brain cell knows... unicorns don't exist.)

In fact it was in the middle of these deliberations, when it was getting dark outside, and the miser was planning how to spend his money (possibly something that involved chest waxing) that he shouted, almost as a matter of habit " DIPPER, GET ME A PITT COLA WILL YA! AND BE SNAPPY ABOUT IT... YOUR GRUNKLE IS GETTING PARCHED IN HERE!" He expected the boy to run in any minute, with a thirst clenching beverage in one hand, a sticky journal in the other, and a surly expression on his round face.

...

...

...No response.

"CAN YOU HEAR ME, BOY?" Stanley followed up. The old man rose from his chair, silently cursing. "If that kid is down in the cellar again, playing that stupid game with my weirdo brother, I swear... I'll... I'll... Revoke his visitation rights!"

Stanley continued his grumbling as he got up, to see for himself the reason why he was being deprived of liquid refreshment by his lazy nephew.

Whatever it was... It had better be a good one.

As soon as he left his chair, and sauntered off towards the vending machine which led to the 'Nerd's Lair' as he called it, that's when he noticed something else.

There was complete silence. During this time, his niece Mabel might be expected to be chasing her pet pig Waddles around, trying to get him to try on one of her latest creations, or to ride him like a bronking bucko to attract her cantankerous great uncle's attention.

Waddles however was curled up next to the entrance, like he was waiting for someone, with a mournful look in his eyes. Stanley wasn't much one for empathy (unless he could stand to earn from it) but ever since rescuing that walking pork roast from a hungry pterodactyl (don't ask) he'd developed a sort-of link with the swine, and he could tell that SOMETHING was bothering the creature.

Almost as if...

He hadn't seen his owner all day.

Frowning, Stanley ejected all such pessimism from his mind. He'd find Dipper destroying imaginary orcs downstairs, and Mabel was probably out with her two friends... The four-eyed one, and the fat one. Everything was going to be alright...

Or, so he hoped.

Entering in his special code, Stanley went through the secret door and called out to his smarter brother while descending the stairs. "FORD, IS THAT LAZY NEPHEW OF MIND WITH YOU? YOU BETTER NOT BE KEEPING HIM FROM HIS DUTIES!" He sounded angry, but those who were listening closely would have been able to catch the slightest tremor of anxiety in his words.

Ford, who was once again heavily absorbed behind a stack of papers, initially rebuffed his sibling's question "No, he isn't. I'm not his babysitter..." Before realising the gravity of the situation, and straightaway pulling himself out of his word of facts and figures. "WHAT?! You mean... He's not back yet?"

Ford was right to be fretful. It had been over ten hours since he'd sent Dipper on his errand (With Mabel as a tagalong)... MORE than enough time for the boy to return from his destination. If he hadn't got home by now...

Putting all his research to one side, Ford stood up to gaze at his brother as he entered the room. Stanley, on hearing what his sibling had to say, was now ashen-faced... All thoughts of his profit margin that day put to one side. What could have happened to them...

Ford frantically thought of something. "Erm... What about Mabel... Is she..."

His query was quickly shot down by Stanley shaking his head.

"Maybe we could... Look upstairs? Perhaps they're playing some sort of game..." Ford was desperately trying to find an explanation for their apparent disappearence... ANYTHING to stave off thoughts that something truly awful had befallen his younger relations...

"YES, YES! That's it! They're playing hide and seek with us!" Stanley noticably cheered up, although his joviality could be described as somewhat forced. "Those damn brats... When I get my hands on them... Worrying us like that..."

He and his brother darted upstairs, their longstanding differences temporarily forgotten, in favour of a common cause: Their family. They ran to the twin's bedroom, nearly breaking the door down in their shared eagerness to allay their fears.

"KIDS?! KIDS?!" Their voices were as one, as they scoured the entire attic... Looking under beds, inside wardrobes, lifting open chests, searching everywhere...

But, did they find any sign of them?

I think you already know the answer to that.

They tried other places too. The bathroom. The living room. Even the secret spare room was searched.

They were nowhere to be found.

Not even a trace.

Stanley did find Mabel's contact book. Flicking through it, he remembered her two friends were called 'Candy' and 'Grenda' when he saw their names written down in glittery ink, and he decided to try both of their home numbers, just to make sure that his niece hadn't decided on an unscheduled sleepover.

Both said no. On the other hand, as soon as they heard the news that their bestie was missing, they had all kinds of questions about where she was last seen, what they could do to help...

Ford hung up on them. Both times.

In hindsight, not a very nice thing to do... But, he was so panicked at this stage, he didn't really care.

The next step between the two brothers was to proportion blame. Stanley thought Ford was responsible for sending the kids out in the first place on such a pointless task he could have done himself.

Ford chastised Stanley for not heeding his advice earlier on about making sure the kids were okay en route, by deciding to put profit ahead of their safety.

In the end, it was all academic.

The children had vanished.

And it was up to both men to find them.

Grabbing a flashlight each, they went to retrace the steps the kids would have taken to go into town.

No-one uttered a word on their short journey... But their looks of anguish and apprehension told the whole story.

Both feared the worse.

And, without wanting to jinx things, that's exactly what they got.

About a mile into their little evening walk, Stanley shone his light on the floor, and found something rather odd.

Tyre tracks. Deep, and erratic. Almost as if...

The driver had been trying to escape in a hurry.

Stanley motioned for his brother to come and have a look at what he'd discovered...

Ford didn't answer.

He'd spotted something even more troubling on the grass.

Blood.

Fresh blood.

And signs of a struggle.

Hearing nothing from his sibling, Stanley marched over there, to see what had Ford looking so shocked.

As soon as saw it, he too took on the appearance of someone about to have a nervous breakdown.

Unable to process what was in front of him...

Stanley took a horrified step back...

And tripped over something.

Rubbing his head on the ground, he looked to see what had caused him to tumble.

It was a book.

A... journal.

His brother's.

Almost too frightened to dwell on what this meant, with shaking hands the old man grabbed it, as he picked himself up.

He staggered over to Ford, who was still entranced by the earlier scene.

Wordlessly, Stanley shoved the record of his brother's escapades under his nose.

Ford, taken by surprise for a minute, took it off him, staring at it like it was a gun found in a classroom.

With tears apparent under his spectacles, he slowly turned to face Stanley, who was similarly leaking from his eyes.

Dipper would NEVER have left something so valuable in the middle of nowhere like this.

Unless...

Something terrible had happened.

Simultaneously, alarm bells started sounding in the old men's minds.

It was time...

To start assuming the worst.

The next few days were like a blur.

Calling the police... Being interviewed... Volunteers to help, coming from all over Gravity Falls, from the many friends the twins had made since their arrival... Soos and Wendy being at the forefront of these efforts... Candy and Grenda being so distraught, they had to be hospitalised for depression... The entire town being searched, no stone left unturned... Toby Determined featuring them on the front cover of Gravity Falls Gossiper every single day since their disappearance... Even the new mayor Tyler Cutebiker giving a televised speech ("If you've seen them... GET IT! Call us... GET IT! We want their safe return... GET IT!").

It had been a whirlwind of activity... So much love, support and assistance...

All, so far, to no avail.

Tomorrow the twins parents were going to be arriving. International media were now picking up on the story... And nothing says 'help us' like a tearful mother and father, pleading for the restoration of their beloved son and daughter. They were needed for the appeal, which would in all likelihood go out to all of America.

Some 'holiday' this was turning out for his niece and nephew. Stanley wasn't looking forward to being chewed out by them when they turned up.

Even though he knew in his heart, he deserved every harsh word.

He was going to have to confront them alone, as well.

Ford deserved to share in facing the music, in Stanley's opinion... But the old geezer had to remain hidden.

The situation was complicated enough as it was... Without having to explain how his supposedly dead sibling had got back from the dead.

So, it looked like his egghead brother was going to get off scot free.

Lucky son of a b****.

He shook his head with vigour. Worrying about it non-stop wasn't going to help anyone. If he wanted to be of any use... He had to be strong. And that meant having to eat.

As difficult as that would be.

With great trepidation, he typed in the number on the vending machine which would allow him to shout to his sibling when it lifted up. "FORD, I'VE JUST BEEN TO THE STORE TO RESTOCK. I WAS WONDERING... DO YOU WANT ANY LUNCH?!"

"NO" came the unflinching answer, without hesitation.

"ARE YOU SURE"? Stanley replied. His brother hadn't touched food for as long as he had... Surely he must be starving by now...

"YES I'M POSITIVE!" Ford barked from the lower floor. "NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Stanley sighed, but decided to follow his brothers wishes. The two feuding siblings had a long personal history of squabbles... Both major and minor. At least they'd been brought together by this tragedy...

Even if was purely because of guilt.

Positioning the machine back into place, Stanley was just about to begin the arduous task of putting the shopping away, when he heard an incessant banging at the door. Rolling his eyes, he walked over there and responded in the same way he had for the last week to any unwelcome customers. "GO AWAY... CAN'T YOU SEE THE SIGN... WE'RE CLOSED!"

Didn't these people even READ the press? What made them think the old man could focus on business... At a time like this?

A few years ago, if you'd told the skinflint that there was ANYTHING which could take his mind off from earning a quick buck, he'd have laughed in your face.

That was before he met Dipper and Mabel, of course.

Then... Everything changed.

Now, with them gone...

All his old priorities...

Seemed as fake and fabricated as the dodgy merchandise he regularly flogged.

Who'd have known?

Stanley's train of thought was interrupted by the knocking... Which, despite his statement of disinterest, had only intensified in volume.

Beginning to lose his temper, Stanley unlocked the door in anger, ready to give the uncaring individual behind it a profanity laden mouthful...

Only to find the person behind it...

Was a little girl.

A little girl, with yellow hair.

She looked as though she'd been running, for her face was as red as a tomatoes, and she was completely drenched in sweat.

Stanley thought he recognised her from somewhere... A newspaper perhaps... Or the television...

Ah, what did it matter? She still wasn't welcome here, and he was about to tell her so...

Before he had the chance, the young lady, in breathless tones, spoke first. "Mr Pines... I HAVE to talk to you... It's about Dipper and Mabel..." she gasped for air.

Instantly shutting up, Stanley wondered who this information carrier was, that she should come down here in such a hurry "And WHO exactly are you?"

"My name is... Pacifica... Northwest..." She spit out the last word almost as if it were poison on her tongue, before glowering at the wall.

Northwest... Northwest. Yes, Stan knew who they were. Everyone in town loved them, even though... In Stan's opinion, they were just about the most rotten, irredeemable snobs to ever wipe their noses on the common man. Many was the time he'd seen them driving around town, sneering at passers by in their posh motor... Almost as if being born with a silver spoon in their mouths gave them licence to deride people like him... Who'd actually WORKED for a living.

In other words, he HATED them.

Pacifica, though... He'd heard Dipper speak about her... About how she used to be as bad as the rest, but ever since the night of the party at their mansion, she'd changed, and was now looking to restore the cursed Northwest name from it's passed sins. Remembering an incident on Pioneer day when he'd been forced into some stocks and pelted with mouldy fruit as a direct result of her actions, Stanley was skeptical about this to say the least. But Dipper was so insistant about this, so determined to convince his Grunkle... That Stanley had no choice, but to take his words at face value.

After all, the boy was many things... But he wasn't a liar.

So, rather than turn her away as he was going to do, Stanley took the decision to at least listen to what she had to say. Gruffly inviting her in, he sat her down, and got her a glass of water. He waited for her to take a few long, hard swigs and recover her composure, before saying "Okay, Northwest. Spill. What do you know..."

"Well..." She said, wiping a few drops off her lips "You may not know this... But the Northwests are extremely well connected. We have rich friends everywhere... And my parents regularly fly all over the world to see them. A few days ago, we got an invite to an upcoming big beach party in Mexico, from one of the wealthiest families that live up there... The Kensington-Smythes." She then dipped her hand in a bag she was carrying, as if searching for something.

Stanley, who had been listening intently to all this, hoping at LEAST for an interesting snippet, slapped the top of his head. "You came all the way out here... To boast about some swanky soiree you're going to? WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH MY MISSING KIDS?!" He demanded, his face turning almost as scarlet as Pacifica's after her long run.

Undeterred by his outburst, the well off girl continued to rummage through her belongings. "I'll tell you. First of all, I'm not invited... I was told to stay at home because of my recent 'misbehaviour'... Yeah, I'm so heartbroken..." She sarcastically remarked, before continuing. "The party is being held to commemorate two new additions to the Kensington-Smythe family... Two kids that they supposedly rescued from some dire situation at an orphanage in America... A girl and a boy. The boy will be introduced to see if he's future executive material, and the girl will be paraded to the younger men... To see if she's future marriage material". She added with a hiss.

She should know... She suspected her Dad had something similar planned for her soon.

Beginning to connect the dots, Stanley raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but what makes you think..."

"AH! Found it!" Pacifica stopped Stanley mid-sentence as she foisted a piece of paper in his face. "LOOK AT THAT PICTURE! Don't tell me that doesn't look like the spitting image of Dipper and Mabel... If you ignore the hair, and the expensive clothes". She shut up as Stanley gazed at what had been handed to him.

It was a personalised invitation, in gold, and written in the finest handwriting. Stanley skipped the part about 'In Honour Of Marmaduke And Florence Kensington-Smythe' and "Bring Your Eligible Sons' and went straight to the picture at the top.

There, asleep next to each other, were a couple of kids. Those both had styled red hair,(although the girl's was shorter) and were resplendent in posh outfits.

But, despite looking radically different from the last time he saw them... And the photo being slightly blurred, not to mention the pair were partially obscured by a blanket... Stanley had no doubt whatsoever.

These were Dipper And Mabel...

In... Mexico...

He fainted.


	8. Chapter 8

Completely oblivious to what was going on back in good old Gravity Falls, both Dipper and Mabel were now seated at the large dining room table, recovering from their various injuries, waiting to see what 'delicacy' was going to be served up for lunch.

In truth, neither was especially hungry... But neither was willing to face the ire of their new 'parents' by confiding in them their lack of appetite. Poor old Dipper now had TWO black eyes, a couple of teeth missing and various bruises all over his body as a result of his Papa's thorough beating.

As for Mabel... Well, it simply hurt to sit at all, thanks to her Mama's brutal spanking which had left her wincing in her seat. Her mind was instinctively telling her to STAND UP every second, but thinking that this wouldn't be 'proper manners for a lady', she took the safe route out by gritting her teeth and baring the pain.

After all, she could have suffered a LOT worse. Just one look at Dipper now, and Penelope's wounds in the bathtub confirmed this...

Speaking of their new adoptive sister, Penelope had been remarkably quiet since her Mama's tantrum in the kitchen, and she was staring at both twins with a great deal of empathy... After all, this barbaric treatment was something she'd gotten used to LONG ago. But to new members of the family, she could understand how it could come across as a little... Extreme. Never mind, they'd soon get the hang of the Golden Rule: Do whatever they say, and you won't get punished.

Only problem was... Even when she DID everything her parents asked, they still found some way to mentally and physically abuse her. She never could quite figure out the rules of the game...

She must be doing SOMETHING wrong. Mama and Papa were perfect, beyond any reasonable doubt... Paragons of virtue... And to cross them would be like defying God Himself.

...Right?

Each child's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the sound of a bell, which signified the arrival of Charles and Mavis Kensington-Smythe. Entering the room like a pair of proud peacocks, they took their seats with deliberate poise and cast their eyes upon the youngsters present.

They almost immediately both turned their attentions to Penelope, and the small girl knew those belittling looks.

She knew something bad was in store.

"So, Penelope" remarked Charles, clutching his thick newspaper as always. "Mama tells me you cooked a delicious lasagne, but unfortunately you got a little greedy, and now we won't be able to serve it for our guests this evening. I trust you were a good dog, and it didn't go to waste? I hope you ENJOYED it, when the rest of us COULDN'T? " He finished his sentence with a sneer.

"Yes, Sir" answered Penelope, with a visible shake.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't hear that..." Charles put his hand over his ear, as if what Penelope had said wasn't clear. "Seeing as you behaved like a dirty uncivilised beast, that ate off the ground, I think you should have to end every sentence with a 'WOOF'. Do you think you can do that, girl? Will you be a good little pooch for your Papa?" He spoke as if addressing a mental defective.

Penelope was stunned. "B...but... I'm not a..."

"Let me refresh your memory." Charles fixed her with a terrible gaze. "Do you recall that pet you had quite a while back? I believe Ruby was her name? What a lovely Dachsund she was. Such a shame you didn't listen to us that night we told you you couldn't play outside with her in the rain... That unfortunate accident could have been avoided... Her short little legs just couldn't get out of the way of that SUV..." Charles shook his head in mock sympathy.

Penelope shuddered. She didn't answer, but judging by her reaction, the twins knew EXACTLY what their Papa was referring to.

"Well, let me put it this way" Charles continued to show off his unpleasant, evil grin. "The poor animal may be long gone, but we and your Mama had the foresight to keep some of Ruby's old playthings... Including her collar, her kennel, and a plastic, squeaky bone..."

"OH MAMA, PAPA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID ALL THIS FOR ME!" Penelope was over the moon. HER FAITH IN HER PARENTS HAD BEEN RESTORED! "Did you hold onto them, so I could keep them for souvenirs?"

Penelope had a framed photo in her bedroom of her long-dead best friend. She could never understand what happened to her canine companion that awful night. One minute, Ruby was there with the toy bone in her mouth, playing fetch, tail happily wagging away. Next... She was found under a car, squashed beyond all recognition. She never could understand how her beloved puppy could have travelled all the way to the main road, by herself...

Penelope's recollection was cut short by her parents derisive laughter. "No dear... " Mavis continued where her husband had left off. "We most certainly did NOT hang onto those cheap things so you could reminisce. Our idea for them was more practical..." She stopped mid-sentence so that her husband could finish the gloating. After all, he WAS head of the household.

"I decided" Charles declared "that if you ever decided to take it upon yourself to BEHAVE like a dog, we'd start treating you like one. So, little Missy... After lunch, we're going to attach the collar to you... Take away all your toys, so the bone will be your sole source of fun... And you'll sleep outside in the will continue for the next week. If we think you've evolved enough to live amongst the rest of the humans again after seven days, we'll restore your privileges. If not, the whole process starts all over again. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!" Goblets of spit landed all around the room, at that last sentence.

"I was just... Doing as I was told... By M...mama" stammered a desperate Penelope.

Mavis got up out of her chair with a jolt, walked energetically over to the small girl, and gave her a solid WHACK in the face, so that Penelope fell out of her chair into a crumpled heap on the floor.

"DON'T YOU BLAME ME FOR YOUR MISDEMEANORS!" shouted the angry woman. "JUST FOR THAT, YOU CAN START YOUR PUNISHMENT RIGHT NOW! I WAS GOING TO LEAVE IT UNTIL TOMORROW, SO YOU COULD ATTEND THE PARTY TONIGHT... BUT IF YOU'RE SO DETERMINED TO BE OBSTINATE, THEN LET'S BRING IT FORWARD BY A DAY!"

Mama then took it upon herself to ring the bell she kept by her side at all times, and a meek servant (who obviously had been waiting to be called) brought in a pink dog bowl, with the word 'RUBY' etched into it.

Mavis snatched it off her hired help, and then proceeded to chuck in on the floor. "GO ON, LITTLE DOGGY, get on your hands and knees to eat. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little while now, though... We'll have to liquidise your food so it will fit in that tiny bowl." She said, as the evening's meal was brought in by an entourage of chefs.

It was caviar with fresh salad. There was a LOT of it. These people really were rich beyond all sane reasoning, Dipper noted.

It's just a shame they don't have the morals to match though, he added to himself... As he and Mabel continued to be unable to tear their eyes away from the unimaginable cruelty unfurling in front of them.

Papa caught onto this. He glanced at his new adopted-by-force children, and asked them in a cross voice "Oh, what's the matter, Marmaduke and Florence... Do you feel sorry for the little puppy wuppy? Perhaps you'd like to join her? I can easily have two more doggy bowls brought down if you like..." The twins could TELL he wasn't bluffing.

And, as much as they felt for Pen, they didn't dare get in any more trouble that day.

"N...no, sir." Dipper quickly replied.

"We... we'll be good." Mabel agreed.

Charles gave a satisfied nod of confirmation. "GOOD! Maybe you're not both beyond hope after all. I do hope your abrasions heal soon, Marmaduke. I have professionals who can patch you up real good. We want you to look your best, for tonight. We've got lots of people coming I want to introduce you to... Who you'll be working with one day. You BETTER not let me down" He added, as a final warning.

"As for you, Florence..." He continued "Spanking is the best form of discipline... My parents did it all the time when I was a strapling, and I turned out fine. If you've got any sense, you'll LISTEN to what Mama tells you to do from now on... Or, you might just find you need a padded cushion for every meal..." Charles arrogantly chuckled at his little joke, followed by his wife... And, like a true super villain, the rest of the servants joined in.

The three most junior occupants of the room weren't quite so amused, though.

"Now, EAT!" Charles cut short his laughter, about two seconds before the rest of the adults. "Marmaduke will be joining me this afternoon to try and make up for some of the damage he caused earlier due to his narcolepsy, and Florence has to clean the entire downstairs hall before she's prepared for the big party tonight. Penelope WAS going to help her... But I don't think canines are too proficent at household chores, are they? Besides, we don't want her to foul inside on the day of our special gathering, do we?"

He leered at the little girl, who had obediantly made her way over to her former pet's bowl, surpressing a waterfall worth of tears as she crawled towards it. In the meantime, another servant had approached Penelope, and affixed a collar and lead to her. The same man then shoved a rubber, worn bone-shaped toy in her mouth.

"You can play with that while us civilised people eat, sweetheart." Mavis remarked, carefully placing an equal amount of lettuce and caviar on her dainty fork." "Don't worry... as soon as your din-dins have been pulped enough so an animal can eat them, you can slop out on the floor. After you've finished that... We'll take you outside to your home for the week. It's not quite a chalet... And you might find the accomodations a bit cramped... But you know what they say... You have to make the best of things!" She swallowed, before wiping her mouth delicately with the provided napkin.

"Y...yes Mama..." replied a broken Penelope, utterly desolate.

Mavis stopped chewing for a minute, her piercing eyes locked on her small daughter's prone form.

"Yes Mama... WHAT?!" She chided Penelope. The older lady looked like she was about to get up, and give the little lady another smack.

Penelope racked her brains. Then, in a split second gasp of realisation, she remembered. "Yes Mama... WOOF!" She did her best canine impression. It wasn't very good.

Mavis didn't seem to mind, though." Now, wag your tail, dear..." (Penelope waved her butt in the air in response) "GOOD GIRL! You can play with your bone, now. I want to hear that thing squeaking like there's no tomorrow. Keep this up... And the next seven days will be a BREEZE! Later on, if you're an especially good girl... I'll take you for walkies around the grounds. You may even get a chance to relieve yourself. Oops, that reminds me... I must remember to ask Santiago to fetch Ruby's pooper scooper from the attic as well..."

Mabel and Dipper could NOT believe what they were hearing, as they filled their mouths with the disgusting fish eggs in front of them (which were totally not worth what they'd heard other, wealthier people paid for them). These two seemed so wicked, so free of basic decency, they were almost parodies of themselves... Yet, here they were... Large as life... Dishing out these inhumane sanctions, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. How on EARTH had Penelope survived for so long, without being reduced to a blubbering wreck in the corner?

And, even more importantly...

How were THEY going to survive it?

"FINISH YOUR FOOD!" Charles was in no mood for slow eaters.

Mabel and Dipper dutifully obeyed.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

"You expect me to wear... THAT?!" Shrieked Mabel.

Her new personal maid Christine rolled her eyes at her young charge's tantrum. "I'm just following orders, senorita. Madam told me to put this on you for the beach party tonight... Now, let's dress you, shall we?"

The outfit of contention was a teeny weeny bikini...

For a 12 year-old girl...

With a THONG back.

"This... Is ILLEGAL!" Mabel continued to back away. This was turning out to be the Day From Hell.

She had sore hands, feet and knees from polishing, wiping and vacuuming the ENTIRE downstairs hall... TWICE (A servant kept coming in and saying she'd 'missed a spot'... Mabel thought the maid was just being a malicious bitch)

She'd had to listen to her brother's cries as he got regularly beaten by Charles... AGAIN... For alleged transgressions in the upstairs study (She dreaded to think how battered he looked now).

She'd witnessed through the window, as she was cleaning it, poor old Pen being dragged around like a mutt on her hands and knees by Mavis, and even being given a couple of sharp kicks for being 'unco-operative'. (Mabel had turned away, as the poor girl had been forced to defecate and urinate on the grass)

And she'd just been forced to stand there in her bedroom, stark naked, once again in front of Christine, while the brutish woman applied the special skin tone cream to her red tush. After firmly rubbing it in, and thoroughly inspecting Mabel's backside for the best part of half an hour to make sure the colours blended perfectly, it was now time for her costume for the evening.

If you could even call it that.

Mabel continued to retreat, until she felt the wall behind her.

Meanwhile, Christine was edging ever closer, swimsuit in hand, an uncompromising expression on her stern features...

"ALRIGHT, I'LL PUT IT ON!" Realising she had no choice, she snatched the barely-there outfit from a surprised Christine, and proceeded to dress in it.

"Why are they making me wear this, anyway..." fumed a very angry Mabel. "Dipper better be wearing some Speedos when I get down there... To redress the balance..."

Christine, watching the girl while sitting on Mabel's bed, had never heard of 'Speedos'...

"Que?" She enquired...

AN HOUR LATER

The party was underway...

Posh cars had started to arrive outside, their well off inhabitants making their way into the HUGE mansion...

Chartered helicopters were landing too, special heliports having been laid out for the guests attending from far away...

The place was begining to fill up...

And, guess what...

It turns out Dipper wasn't wearing any swimming trunks for the 'social event of the year'.

In fact... He wasn't wearing anything beach related at all.

He was trussed up to the nines, in an obviously expensive suit, with a full collar and cane combo.

He was even wearing a TOP HAT, for goodness sake.

Mabel saw her rather dazed brother as she was lead downstairs by Christine... In a group of similiarly attired boys...

Each one, with red hair and green eyes...

(Well, that explains why they wanted us to change our appearance, realised Mabel)

All the young men looked as if they were having a good time. laughing and joking with each other...

Apart from Dipper, who was trying to keep as low a profile as possible, nervously glancing around for his sister...

And, when he saw her...

He dropped the untouched drink he had held in his right hand...

With a look of abject horror on his face.

"MABEL... WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?! I CAN SEE YOUR..." Dipper gasped.

If the former braces wearer wasn't embarrassed beyond all measure before...

She certainly was now.

"Here, put this on..." Being the protective little that he was, Dipper couldn't help but instinctively take off his jacket, to try and shield his sister's modesty.

But, just as he was about to approach her...

He felt something holding him back.

He could have guessed who it was even before he turned around...

Upon hearing that authorative, booming voice.

"Now, now son... What do you think you're doing?" It said.

Yep, it was Papa alright.

And he held Dipper by his silk shirt.

"Don't worry Marmaduke... " Charles told him "Your sister will be fine... She's just doing what all young ladies of the Smythe-Northwest scion do when they hit this special age... Trying to attract someone tonight, for an arranged marriage which will take place in six years. Why else do you think we're having this big soiree this evening? It's Mix n Match. Don't worry... You'll have plenty of opportunity to select your own future wife tonight, too. Now, come and rejoin the others... I want them to meet my future successor for themselves..."

As Dipper was reluctantly led away from his blushing sister, he heard Charles whisper "Incidentally, when you DO get to pick later on... Don't necessarily go for the best figure. Check out the hands... The more red they are, the more you can be sure they're good at the essentials of housework and cooking. That's how I chose your Mama... She's not exactly an oil painting, but she can sure clean a kitchen in record time... And you should try her apple strudel. YUM YUM!" Charles smacked his lips in appreciation.

"Er, thanks 'sir' " Dipper thanked Papa for his 'brilliant' advice, before being ferried back to the rest of the snobs.

Mabel watched him depart with a heavy heart, while she was shepherded outside by her personal maid... FINALLY getting to see the outside world in Mexico, after a whole day cooped up. As she saw from her bedroom balcony, there was sand everywhere, the sea just a few yards away...

And not a single other building in sight.

There was, on the other hand, a kennel right next to the house, and inside was a tied-up, very depressed looking Penelope..

And a large area of the beach cordoned off, full of young girls just like her... All complete with green eyes and red hair...

Just like her NOW, that is, although their hairstyles generally were MUCH longer than hers was...

The one thing that they did all have in common though, was they were all dressed as indecently as Mabel herself was, in tiny swimwear.

Unlike Mabel's mortified response to what she had on, though...

They didn't seem to mind one bit, as they rocked to some R&B music, chatted with each other, ate food off a nearby buffet...

'These poor females must have been brainwashed at birth to accept this as the norm' Mabel concluded, as the barrier was seperated and she felt herself being unceremoniously being pushed into the midst of this underage harem.

Her job done, Christine grunted with satisfaction... Before heading to the servant's quarters for their own little shindig.

It wasn't quite on the same scale as her boss's, put it that way.

Almost immediately upon entering the throng, Mabel found herself surrounded by sneering socialites.

"Who the hell are YOU?"

"You can't be a Smythe-Kensington... You weren't even here at last year's party."

"Why is your hair so short?"

"Why are you so fat?"

"You'll NEVER attract a husband looking like that!"

Mabel, who prided herself on making friends with just about ANYONE (apart from those darn unicorns) could not find a single redeeming feature in these prissy junior bimbos.

So, she just stood there, trying to cover herself as best she could, while everyone else mocked almost every single aspect of who she was.

It was a waste of time really, when Christine applied that lotion earlier on to cover up the discolouration of her rear after the spanking...

Seeing as how ALL of her was blushing a dark shade of crimson now.

All of a sudden, the music died down, as the bullies attention was caught by something else, giving Mabel a blissful respite from her shame.

Not for too long, though... As she felt herself being grabbed around the midriff, and an older woman's voice told her "Hello, sweetheart!" Followed by a mushy kiss on her cheek.

Yep, it was Mama.

"This is a very special night for you, Florence... So let's have a look at you..." Mavis subjected Mabel to a thorough examination... Covering up the missing patches of red hair that had been ripped out earlier on... Adjusting the pre-teen's bikini top so it was perfectly straight... Making sure the skin around the buttocks was the same colour as the rest... It seemed to go on for ages.

If it was any consolation, the other young girls around her were going through the same procedure with their mothers too, by the looks of things.

At last, each female seemed happy with their respective daughter's appearance, and the most senior of the women signalled that it was okay to start proceedings.

Suddenly, all the older men and younger boys inside the mansion starting coming out to the beach, all still ludicrously still dressed in their pricy suits, and looking as though they were determined to have a good time...

Well, apart from Dipper, of course... Who, like his sister, was finding the experience tortuous to say the least, and wishing a big hole would just swallow him up and take him ANYWHERE else...

Preferably Gravity Falls.

Mabel looked around at the snobby faces of the younger boys as they approached, each one leering at her and the rest of the swimsuit clad girls in a most unattractive manner. She tried to go further to the back of the group... but was stopped by Mavis, who was now holding her firmly in place.

"Don't worry, Florence." The older lady winked at the pre-teen. "Let ME look after you. I'll find you a good future husband... You just stand there and look pretty... Well, as much as you can..." She added, a bit uncertainly.

Mabel frowned to herself. What was THAT supposed to mean?

No time to consider those words, though... As Charles Smythe-Kensington had a microphone... And he was now addressing both genders. "Hello, everyone. Salutations to you all. A very warm welcome, and thank you all for attending our little get-together on this wonderful night here in Mexico, on the coast. We are here to welcome two new members to our humble clan. We rescued them from horrible living conditions in one of the worst orphanages me and my wife had ever seen in the USA. They had no food. No water. In fact, Florence here was so sick... She nearly died, and all her hair fell out."

Mabel was about to yell "THAT'S A LIE!" But decided, as surrounded by the enemy as she was, discretion was the better part of valour.

Besides, at least some of the girls around her who'd been mocking her for her short 'do were now showing signs of sympathy in their looks.

"So, being the good citizens me and my wife... GIVE US A WAVE, DARLING!... are, we decided to adopt them... Fly them over to Mexico, to start a new life. We love them both like they were our own children... And they're getting along fine with my daughter-by-birth, Penelope, too. Unfortunately... She can't attend tonight... Because, as you can tell by looking over there... She's in the doghouse!" Charles found his attempt at humour hysterical, and most of the other guests agreed.

Mabel and Dipper weren't among those laughing, of course.

"GO ON DEAR, GIVE US A BARK!" Charles commanded Penelope from quite far away.

"WOOF WOOF *SOB*" Came the faint reply.

More smirking by Charles. More guffawing from his audience. More desperation at holding himself back by Dipper, to go over there, take that mike off the the upper-class twit and shove it...

Fortunately, common sense prevailed.

"So anyway..." Charles ended his speech "Please give it up for the next generation of the Smythe-Kensingtons... MARMADUKE AND FLORENCE!" Much polite applause was heard.

Somehow, the twins didn't feel all that close to their new 'family'.

"Now to the OTHER reason we're all here..." Charles picked the microphone up once again. "There come a time in a man's life where he wants to take a wife for himself, settle down and have children. In the rest of the world, this would involve lots of failed relationships... One night stands... And unwanted pregnancies along the way. Well, as you all know... We do things a little bit differently here..."

"The modern world is corrupted. Feminist idelogy has taken over. Women now have JOBS. They go to SCHOOL. They can VOTE." Charles spat those last few words out. "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO JUST STAYING AT HOME ALL DAY, TAKING CARE OF AFFAIRS THERE, AND WAITING ON YOUR HUSBAND HAND AND FOOT WHEN HE GETS HOME AFTER A HARD DAY'S WORK?!

"WOMEN DON'T NEED AN EDUCATION." He continued to shout, raving like a lunatic. WOMEN DON'T NEED TO GO OUT TO THE WORKPLACE. WOMEN DON'T NEED TO DECIDE WHO OUR NEXT LEADERS WILL BE. WE ARE OUR OWN MASTERS. AND I SAY... THE WAY THEY DO THINGS IN THE REST OF THE WORLD STINKS! BY THE TIME I'VE FINISHED WITH MY NEW DAUGHTER FLORENCE, FOR INSTANCE, SHE WON'T REMEMBER A THING SHE LEARNED ABOUT MATHS OR ENGLISH AT SCHOOL IN AMERICA... BUT SHE WILL BE THE BEST DARN COOK AND DOMESTIC GODDESS THIS SIDE OF THE BORDER!"

More cheering. More sympathy for Mabel from those girls around her, who didn't realise had 'bad' she had things in the States. She even got a few pats on the back from those who wished to make amends for earlier...

Mabel wasn't paying any attention though. She'd spotted a couple of people she knew VERY well lurking in the crowd... A seedy man with a moustache, and his Botoxed-to-ridiculous-degrees wife next to him. She'd pointed them out quietly to Dipper, and both twins were now staring at the deadly duo. They were...

Mr & Mrs Northwest?!

If THEY were here...

WHERE was Pacifica?!

If she was attending...

Maybe she could get them some... Help?

Hope springs eternal.

Before they could decide what to do next, Charles continued his rabble rousing. "So, it is today... Free from the politically correct dogma that our society has put on us, that we will make a pledge. A pledge that, whoever our young men choose, in this assortment of lovely young ladies who have got dressed up for them especially, they will stand by them until the end of time . No 'girlfriends'. No 'affairs'. Just the two of them... together, forever. After selected, the girls will continue their studies into domestic servitude for the next few years, and the boys will proceed with their biusiness studies. Then, at the blessed age of 18, the loving couple will marry... And, as soon as their children are born, the whole cycle can start again."

Taking her mind off the Northwests for a minute, Mabel heard most of this... And the only conclusion she could draw was that her new Papa was completely cray-cray.

Dipper couldn't believe he was about to be engaged at the age of 12. He wouldn't have even made that kind of commitment with Wendy.

But, then again... Nah.

"So, let the judging... BEGIN!" Charles ended the introduction.

At the same time Mabel, who already being gripped harshly by Mavis during Charles's ranting, found the physical pressure on her increase even more. "W... What are you..." She started her sentence.

THWACK! She got a clip round the ear for her troubles. "What did I say Florence? Be quiet... Just stand there, and let me do my job... Unless... You WANT me to tan your hide again." She added, threateningly.

Oops, Mabel definitely didn't want that. So, she just stood there, while Charles continued to speak.

"Now, let's see what beautious specimens we have here, shall we?" he said, sounding like a complete pervert. "Open those mouths, mothers... And let's see what that dental work is like."

All of a sudden, Mabel felt herself being shoved to the front of the crowd, next to the other girls in their unflattering bikinis and their Moms... While the young boys and older men sat down on the sand itself.

Charles, being aware of Dipper's distress at his sister being treated like a slave at an auction, had been grabbed by the older man, and held between his legs while Charles continued to issue instructions.

No way THIS kid was going to get in the way of tradition.

As for Mabel, She felt Mavis grab her jaw and forcibly open it as far as it would go... Keeping it open for at least ten minutes so that everyone present could get a good look at her teeth.

The sweater lover had suprisingly good gnashers, considering her love of all things sugar related, although they did look at bit out of synch after her braces were removed.

Not that there was anything she could do about that, of course.

Next it was the turn of the stomach... And Mabel found herself relentlessly prodded and poked by Mama, as each layer of fat rippled, and even her belly button was opened up for examination.

No lint there today, thank goodness.

The legs were up next, and she felt Mavis's hand brush all around them, to try and show the watching boys that there was no imperfections, blemishes or (God forbid) premature hair growth.

There was a slight scab on Mabel's knee, from when she fell down while chasing Waddles. She'd lose a few points for that.

Not that she cared. One bit.

After this humiliating ordeal for all the girls (although Mabel was the only one who seemed to mind) and while the boys (apart from Dipper, who was lashing out blindly from his prison to spare what was left of his sister's dignity) were quarrelling amongst themselves about who they wanted to be with the most, Charles took up the microphone again.

"And now it's time..." He announced with a wink "To turn the young ladies AROUND..."

The arguing young men immediately stopped what they were doing and returned to their positions on the ground. This was ALWAYS a favourite moment.

"What?! NO!" Mabel had accepted the rest of the manhandling she'd been subjected to, but surely this was a step too far.

"FLORENCE... DO YOU WANT ME TO PUNISH YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE HERE?! "Mavis was unrepentant, and Mabel could tell she meant every word she said.

"O...Okay" The girl bowed her head in defeat.

"That's my good girl" Mama smiled, and 'gifted' Mabel another kiss on the cheek. "I didn't make Christine put all that stuff on you earlier for my own pleasure, you know. You don't want to go into a contest like this looking like a red bottomed baboon." She chuckled

Like her husband, she had a great knack at laughing at jokes aimed at other people... But if anyone DARED challenge her...

Well let's just say Charles would soon sort them out

Permanently.

Meanwhile, the show must go on. And Mabel was about to be spun round, so that her rear could be given a complete once-over by a bunch of pathetic, horny pre-prudescents.

She grimaced at the prospect.

Charles started a countdown.

Three, two, o...

CRASH!

Everyone's attention was suddenly taken up by a loud noise.

It had come from the mansion.

All the guests looked at the building...

And from SOMEWHERE a fireball had flown by

It had exploded on the second floor...

Taking with it about two rooms.

It looked like more were on the way.

The whole sky was lit up.

Dipper and Mabel looked upwards...

And then at each other.

Wow.

A servant came running over to Charles Smythe-Kensington.

The poor man was alight, with half of his face burnt off

Charles didn't care about that, though.

The only thing he was interested in was:

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" The servant screamed...

Before dying in agony.

Oops.


	9. Chapter 9

EARLIER ON THAT DAY:

Stanley woke up to discover an ice pack on his head, a worried blonde girl by his side, and an agitated brother pacing up and down. The owner of the Mystery Shack had been moved to his bedroom, and was currently resting on his mattress.

"You're awake!" That was the call from Pacifica, to Stanley as soon as he fluttered his eyes open. Stanford stopping his endless walking to look at his sibling, his hand on his chin. He'd obviously been deep in thought.

Stanley initially hoped that the news about his grandkids was all just a dream, and they were downstairs getting up to mischief as usual. But the aggravated look on Ford's face, not to mention the piece of paper which had caused him to faint in the first place, being held tightly by Pacifica, told him otherwise.

"How long was I out for..." Stanley enquired, putting his spectacles back on.

"About half an hour..." Ford informed him. "But never mind that now. Your friend here... Pacifica, was it... Has just filled me in on all the details. I can't believe those Smythe-Kensingtons think they can get away with this! We have all the evidence we need... The picture, the invitation, our testimony... All we have to do is place a little call to the police, and we can sort this out..."

"Actually, it's not as easy as that..." Pacifica poured cold water on that idea. " My parents have taught me all about international affairs... And Mexico is a completely different country to the USA. It won't be so easy to deport them from there... Especially when you're as rich as THIS family. They practically own the Mexican government... So don't expect too much help from the authorities over the border..."

"THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE!" Stanley's fist demolished his bedside table." Those kids were MY responsibility... They're going through God-Knows-What over there... And you expect ME to just wait and see if America has the right to INVESTIGATE?! We KNOW it's them... And I for one am not going to waste one more second talking it over, when we could be getting Dipper and Mabel back to where they belong. Come on, Ford. You and me are going to come up with a plan."

Stanley brushed past Pacifica as he got up, grabbed his brother and frogmarched him over to the vending machine. He was about to put in the secret number, when he realised the blonde heiress was still there, watching them. Turning around, he spoke to her in a tone as soft as he could muster, under the circumstances.

"Thank you, sweetie. I was wrong about you... You're not like your parents at all. You're a good friend to my niece and nephew... And as soon as we rescue them, I'm sure they'll tell you the same thing themselves. Go back to your mansion... We'll let you know as soon as we have any news." Stanley smiled at her.

Pacifica responded by folding her arms and getting into a huff. "Wait a minute... If you think I'm going to just stay here, while the pair of you go off to rescue Dipper and Mabel by yourselves, you've got another thing coming. You don't know what these people are capable of... I DO. I've been brought up alongside them all my life... I could be a great help. PLEASE let me aid you." She pleaded, her blue eyes shining.

Stanley rolled his pupils. He never was very good at resisting the opposite sex... Particularly young girls. That's why Mabel got her own way with him so often...

And man, didn't she exploit it.

But he had to stay strong in this case. "Listen, Pacifica... Me and my br... 'friend' are both very grateful you brought this to our attention, and we owe you a whole lot. But what me and Ford might be doing might be, for lack of a better word, VERY dangerous. You're young, you've got your whole life in front of you... And I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you. The best thing you can do for us is to stay here and be safe... Besides, if your parents ever found out what you just told us..." He added, as a warning.

That last statement made an expression of anxiety appear on Pacifica's face momentarily, and Stanley took this opportunity to push her towards the front door, before shoving her out and locking it. "I'm sorry darling..." He told her, as she continued to pound on the glass." But you'll understand this is all for the best one day. Come on, (whisper) brother... Let's go and scheme how to get our children back and kill some rich people... In PRIVATE."

Ford irked slightly at being called 'brother' after the frosty nature of their recent relationship, but nevertheless followed Stanley into the inner bowels of the shack.

When they reached the same floor as the Time Rift Machine used to be located on, Stanley bustled in and took a seat, wiping the sweat off his head. Ford, always more taciturn, stood a few steps away from his sibling, his arms crossed and his foot tapping on the floor.

"So Stanley..." He growled "What is this BRILLIANT idea you have to get over to Mexico, avoiding all the security, take back Dipper and Mabel, and return here all in one piece? I'm sure, in the amount of time since you found out this information, You've no doubt concocted a foolproof plan where NOTHING could possibly go wrong." Ford sarcastically remarked.

"I KNOW, I KNOW!" Stanley was deep in contemplation " I just said that really to get rid of her... I have no clue what I'm going to do. I mean... I have some contacts over there... Heck, even spent time in JAIL in Mexico... But something tells me none of that is going to help, with something of this magnitude..." He pointed at the invitation he'd taken from Pacifica, which also showed a picture of the mansion.

It was hard to tell exactly how big it was based on that image to scale, but a rough estimate would say that you could squeeze around a hundred Mystery Shacks in there.

Plus, what Pacifica had said about the way the law works in that part of the world was true. All you had to do was grease the palm of whoever was in charge, and you could get away with virtually anything.

Stanley was sure that the Smythe-Kensingtons had done more than their fair share of that over the years. So, if they were to retrieve their grandkids using the legal route it could take months... Possibly, even years.

And, Stanley wasn't willing to wait that long.

In the midst of his desperation, Stanley looked to his brother for hope. "Part of the reason I took us down here, Ford, was because I thought you might have some technologically advanced gadgets that could help us out. Maybe... An army of robots... Or... A nuclear missile..." Stanley paused for a minute." Actually no, better scratch that last one. We don't want to harm the twins..."

Ford sighed at his brother's idiocity. "You think?!" Before answering his question more directly. "No, I'm afraid I've got nothing that could handle something like this. Well, I mean there's... "He stammered a little. "But, no. I'm saving THAT until the end of the world. I couldn't possibly waste it..."

The inventor was interrupted by Stanley grasping him by his collar "WHAT, you mean to say... You have something that could help us rescue YOUR OWN GRANDCHILDREN... And you're unwilling to use it... Because of some crazy notion you have of an event that MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN?!" The fez wearer continued to choke his brother." THAT'S NONSENSE! I knew that being in isolation for the best part of thirty years might make a bit cold, but I NEVER thought you'd put your own deluded fantasies above the safety of FAMILY!"

"B...but" gasped Ford, trying to breathe. "They're NOT deluded, Stanley. If you'd only listen to my theories, and look at Bill's Wheel..."

"SCREW all that!" Stanley was starting to get angry. "I'm talking about the HERE AND NOW... And, right now... Dipper and Mabel NEED us. And, even if this armageddon crap is going to happen... Would it really be worth saving our miserable lives... If our grandkids... The NEXT GENERATION need I remind you... Aren't around to survive it? And besides..."

At this point, Stanley released his sibling's shirt, to stare down at the ground. "Their parents arrive tomorrow... And they're going to want to know I'm doing everything I can to ensure their safe return. What am I supposed to tell them... I have a device which MIGHT be capable of getting them back... But I'm not going to utilise it, because I'm saving it for ANOTHER occasion? Is THAT what you want me to tell them, Ford?"

Ford felt a pang of guilt at the back of his head. He knew his brother was guilt tripping him. How absolutely shameless.

And yet, it was working.

The genius inventor felt extremely remorseful for letting those poor kids go out on such a menial task, that he could have done himself... If he wasn't so obsessed with work. Like it or not, if it wasn't for him, they'd still be there in Gravity Falls, playing happily.

And he had felt like he'd belonged to a REAL family for the first time, since arriving back from limbo (although, he was loathe to admit it ). Even though he loved to study the mysteries of the world, he'd come to the conclusion that there was more to life then textbooks and diagrams.

So, letting his heart rule his head for once, he told his brother those words he'd been waiting to hear:

"Okay, let's do it."

TEN MINUTES LATER:

"WOOO Ford... I thought you might have something up your sleeve... But, this... This is something else..." Stanley was suitably impressed by what was in front of him.

And so he should be. For, the machine that was presented to him was a little more advanced than the ray gun or transdimensional splicer he'd been anticipating

Just a little.

It was a plane. A freaking plane. That his BROTHER had built... All by himself (With a little help from McGucket, but when Ford's assistant had gone mad and disowned his partner's experiments, he'd relinquished all claim to it).

And not just any aircraft... Oh, no. This one was designed to FIGHT. Bullets. Lasers. FIREBALLS. It was all there... With enough capacity to take on board a good few hundred people, too.

Ford had designed it all those years ago to help save him, his family and friends (Along with anyone else who could squeeze onto it) from the upcoming apocalypse. He'd equipped it with attack capabilities too... In case the legions of hungry zombies decided to take a piece out the survivors.

Stanley had to hand it to him... It was certainly more effective than an underground bunker.

And, to think he doubted his brother's commitment to the family...

Ready to eat humble pie, Stanley turned to Ford and sighed "Look, I'm sorry I questioned whether you cared or not. I was only trying to get you to see things from my perspective. I never thought I would find anything more important to me than profit... But those two little squirts have changed my life. I'd do ANYTHING to get them back..." He turned away, wiping off a few stray tears.

Suddenly, Stanley felt a warm hand on his shoulder. He turned around, to see his brother... Who also looked a little wet around the eyes." No need to apologise, Stanley. You're absolutely right... What's the point in spending half your life making things like this... If you can't use them to save the lives of those you care about the most? I'm still convinced the end of the world is coming, and to use this airplane when the time comes ... So let's think of this little expedition as a test flight. Come on , let's climb on board... I'll show you the..."

But before he could do so, Stanley finally gave into his emotions and enveloped his brother in an almighty embrace, which took Ford completely by surprise.

Yep, it was an older version of the 'Awkward Sibling Hug'.

Eventually, Ford settled into it, and lightly patted his brother on the back. They knew there was still a lot between them to overcome... But this was the first step to a full reconciliation.

And both of them couldn't be happier about that prospect.

Eventually, they separated, and Stanley looked at Ford through moist eyes. "Do you PROMISE that this thing will help us get own twins back?" The old man almost begged for a positive answer.

Ford grumbled about a machine he'd worked so long and hard on being referred to as a 'thing', but nevertheless answered his brother's question. "Well..." He scratched his chin. "I DID build it using the best materials the 80's had to offer... And it's maximum speed is around 1000 mph... So if we set off now... We MIGHT be able to make it for this evening. Do you know where to go?"

Stanley furrowed his brow, and studied the invitation."Well, it's got an address here... No clear directions... Perhaps we could look it up on the Internet... Not that the reception around here is too good..." He pondered.

They still used dial up connections in most houses, for Christ sake.

"No need for THAT!" Ford snatched the piece of paper off his sibling. "We can just program everything down here into the memory banks of the computer in the plane... And it'll show us the way! We won't even have to fly it ourselves... Everything is automated!" The inventor couldn't help but give out a prideful smile at that revelation, and his brother couldn't help but be even more impressed.

"Who'd have thought that having brains would be so useful?" Remarked Stanley, as he patted the nose of the plane. "You must be ashamed to be related to a knucklehead like me..."

"No, not at all. Who do you think protected this big brain of mine from the bullies when we were growing up?" Ford grinned at his brother, recieving one in kind from his sibling." Anyway... Time waits for no man, as they say. We'd better get going... I'll teach you what the buttons do when we get inside. NO TOUCHING ANYTHING WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! Is that clear?"

Stanley responded to his brother's impromptu lecture with a chastened look. "Crystal". he muttered.

"Good... Let's hit the skies then... Oh, and your helmet is on your seat. Put it on. Not that it's going to be much help if we crash..." Ford said, as he ascended the steps.

"Then, what's the point in wearing it in the first place?" Stanley wondered.

"I dunno... A placebo?" Ford shrugged his shoulders.

"Sometimes I wonder if you ARE as smart as you make out..." Stanley joined his brother, as the door closed behind them.

BACK TO THE PRESENT TIME

And so it happened, after their long journey across the ocean (and a few bouts of airsickness from Stanley along the way, yuck), that the intrepid duo of brothers sighted their target.

The mansion was as huge as they'd imagined. Right slap bang by the coast, with no other dwelling in sight for miles.

It was the perfect place to hide a couple of kids, safe from prying eyes. It was also exactly the type of habitation that Stanley would like to have when he retired.

It was a shame they were going to have to destroy it.

The two brothers had spotted the big party outside, and had kind of guessed the indoors were abandoned. And, meaning to show their strength, they decided to start firing on the building.

To keep casualities down to a minimum, of course. If a few nasty types got caught up in the crossfire, then that was their problem.

They shouldn't be working for such an evil regime, anyway. And Stan HATED rich people.

Whether it was jealousy, or spite... He was just sure that that world would be a better place if some of the 1% were culled.

Irrationality... What's that?

Before doing so, both brothers made absolutely sure that Dipper and Mabel were both secure ... By looking through the super high-tech scanners on the plane which could spot anything from miles away.

Even a fly wouldn't be able to escape this baby's attention.

First of all, Stanley spotted Dipper, wearing his best suit... Pinned under the legs of some dude who looked like the banker on the Monopoly game.

"They MUST be mistreating him" Stanley mused. "It's hard enough to get him to change his clothes every day... Let alone truss him up as if he's going to the opera. It seems like he's been wearing that T-shirt/Waistcoat/Pine Tree Cap combination for AGES... Maybe I should ask that Smythe guy what his secret is..."

All joking went out of the window, however... As soon as they saw Mabel.

Both Stans looked at each other in sheer horror. There was their precious little girl... No older than twelve... Attired in a outfit that would shame your average stripper. And, who was that lady holding onto her... Feeling her up and down?! There were other older women there, too... All manhandling the underage pre-teen females...

The worst part was the men. And young boys. Those disgusting, disgusting people. Sitting there... Leering at these LITTLE GIRLS in revealing swimsuits... Making gestures with their tongues... Pointing, shouting... It was truly horrendous.

Stanley couldn't take it anymore.

"DIE, DIE!" The old man ran over to the controls, and pressed the button marked fireball, and aimed it at the large building.

He pressed it again.

And again.

And again.

And, despite Ford's misgivings about the overuse of violence...

After what the genius inventor had just seen...

He really couldn't quarrel with his brother's reaction.

So, while his sibling got busy with blowing up the mansion into smithereens...

Ford continued to observe the panic below him on the scanner.

As you'd expect, it was complete pandemonium.

Men and boys running in one direction...

Women and girls retreating the other...

It was pure chaos.

Some guests even tried to get into their cars and helicopters to escape.

"NOT ON MY WATCH!" Stanley laughed.

He took his attention away from the half-demolished mansion for a minute...

And exploded a few vehicles, too.

Luckily, most of the people were still unharmed.

Mostly, it was just property damage.

You know... Just like in the old TV show, the A-Team.

(Which had just started, just before Ford had disappeared)

It was a sight for sore eyes, alright.

Just like a movie set for a disaster film.

Ford was satisfied with it all.

Everything was going according to plan...

Soon, they would stop their wanton destruction...

And, hover above the ruins below them...

Issuing their demands using the on board loudspeaker.

If Dipper and Mabel weren't returned to them...

Then, it wouldn't just be the Smythe-Kensington's worldly goods that would be destroyed.

And, against such advanced weaponry...

What choice did they have... But to relent?

However... It was in the midst of his self congratulation...

While he was still looking at the bedlam beneath him...

That Ford noticed something very odd indeed.

Dipper, and Mabel...

They were side by side...

Still being held by the people who were keeping them captive before.

Under closer examination...

Ford realised that these were the people who's pictures were on the invitation...

Charles and Mavis Smythe-Kensington.

The dastardly duo who'd perpetrated the kidnapping of their grandchildren in the first place.

And the strange thing was...

Despite their mansion being almost completed wrecked...

Their party ruined...

Their guests running for dear life...

And some of their servants being as dead as doorknobs...

They didn't seem perturbed in the slightest.

In fact, they were looking straight up at him, arrogant grins present on their evil faces.

Ford, confused by their mood, decided to try and see why.

...

"OH NO!"

The inventor couldn't help but gasp in shock at what he saw before him.

Even Stanley, as caught up in his orgy of destruction as he was, couldn't help but glance over at his brother's exclamation.

"What's the matter, Ford?" Stanley was about to blow up an insignificant kennel next to the smoking remains of the mansion.

Ford slowly turned his head away from the scanner, but his words were loud and harsh "STANLEY, we have to stop firing... NOW!"

The fez wearer scoffed at his brother's suggestion. "And why would I do something like that? I've nearly burnt this place to the ground." His finger was delicately poised on the trigger.

"BECAUSE... THEY HAVE DIPPER AND MABEL..." Ford gasped. "AND... SYRINGES!"

"Huh...?" This was enough to get Stanley's attention. He left his seat, to look through the scanner, and got the same view his brother did.

Yep, it was those jerks from the leaflet... And they were holding the kids in a vice-like grip in one hand... And in the other, each Smythe-Kensington had a needle at their hostage's throat. It would take less than a second for both Dipper and Mabel to be injected with a possibly fatal substance...

Time that they didn't have.

Ford and Stanley looked at each other in panic. Yes, that awful pair were monsters. Yes, they deserved to die. And yes, the two brothers wanted their kids back... More than anything in the world.

But, at the moment...

The snobs had the upper hand.

What should they do?

Call their bluff, and hope that the needles were just filled with a harmless liquid?

Not worth the risk.

Try and kill their captors, before they had the chance to act?

Not enough time...

Beat a hasty retreat, and try to come back later when the Smythe-Kensingtons had their guard down?

Possibly the best option... But, what if Dipper And Mabel are moved elsewhere in the meantime... Somewhere else, that Ford and Stanley aren't aware of?

Decisions, decisions...

In fact, it was during this period of deliberation...

When the brothers were distracted...

That a missile hit their plane...

And, another...

And, another.

You see,

Although Mexico might be a comparably poor relation to it's neighbour in the south...

It still has it's own Army, Navy...

And Air Force.

And it doesn't take too kindly to hostile airplanes intruding into it's air space...

To blow up it's own citizens.

Especially wealthy ones.

As soon as they were made aware of lots of explosions off the coast...

The government scrambled together a battalion of warplanes from a nearby base to counter attack...

And it was those jets which had just blown Ford's vehicle out of the sky.

BOOM!

SPLASH!


	10. Chapter 10

When the explosions started, and Charles Smythe-Kensington saw his servant's face melt in front of him, the rich man was obviously shocked.

All he'd done was organise a nice little party for his wealthy family, along with a few other wealthy friends scattered across the globe.

They'd have a few drinks, discuss who had the highest gross income, arrange future weddings for their children...

You know... The usual sort of thing.

He was also in mind to show off his new 'acquisitions'... His two adopted children, Marmaduke and Florence.

He knew they already had a family.

He knew they had people in America who loved and cared for them.

He knew they would hate their new, restrictive lifestyle.

Frankly, he didn't give a damn.

He'd been on the look out for children for a while.

(No, not like THAT. Charles was many things... But a pedophile was not one of them.)

He already had a daughter, Penelope... Who was turning out to be a massive disappointment.

She constantly exhibited signs of having a 'free will'... Something which the heavily regimented Charles frowned on.

Despite all the harsh punishments administered on her, she STILL had a certain spark... A flame which refused to be extinguished.

In other words, not quite the empty vessel he needed to be a future mate for one of his well off colleague's sons.

Besides, he wanted a male heir to take over his business when the time eventually came to hang up his monacle and cane...

And, after some unpleasant news he'd heard from his doctor as regards his chances of having more children at his age...

He'd decided to go down the unfamiliar route of *ugh* adoption.

He knew better than to take into his posh mansion any of those 'filthy' Mexicans...

And getting any youngster from the States would be extremely difficult, considering his prior convictions...

That's when he hit upon a BRILLIANT idea...

If he couldn't acquire some kids using the legal way...

He'd TAKE them without permission.

After all, it was not like he was without resources in the States...

He still had his own private airfield...

Along with plenty of eyes and ears on the ground...

And, once one of his contacts had managed to get said targets...

He could transport them over to Mexico...

And start molding them into the perfect children he'd always wanted.

Ideally, he wanted two sons...

That way, he could divide up his legacy in half between them...

(It was rather too big for one man to inherit himself)

But his wife Mavis DID insist if she was going to get on board with this 'crazy plan' one of the abductees MUST be a girl...

She wanted to make a fresh start with a female who wasn't Penelope... One she could make look exactly like her when she was a little girl...

So reluctantly, he gave into her demand.

They already had the names picked out... Marmaduke, after Charles's father... And Florence, after their favourite vacationing spot in Italy every year.

They wanted them to be a reasonable age... Around 12. They didn't want to have to deal with more little brats like Penelopes running around the place... But they still wanted to leave enough time so they could be fully 'trained' before being married off at 18.

Now that the specifics had been worked out...

It was up to their hired help in the States to locate what they were looking for.

Months past... Charles was on the phone everyday with his spies, shouting at them for their lack of speed... Mavis sat in the drawing room, weeping that she'd never have that 'special daughter' and being stuck with 'that thing' called Penelope... It all seemed hopeless.

Then, one day... They got a call.

It was from one of their underlings from a small place known as 'Gravity Falls' in the state of Oregon. Mostly, the Smythe-Kensingtons had set their attention on getting their new son and daughter from more populous areas, like Los Angeles or New York.

The guy who phoned them from this seemingly useless backwater location thought he had something, however.

He'd spotted two pre-teens who were obviously twins roaming about the place... Often unaccompanied. Most of the residents who lived there seemed a bit... Nuts, but these two seemed more clued in (Well, the girl was a little loco, but beggars can't be choosers, right?)

He'd followed them around for a while... And managed to avoid detection (Even if the boy kept looking behind him... What a nervous kid). The contact had managed to establish they were there on holiday... And were living with an elderly man.

It seemed like the ideal scenario. A foreign environment. No security. The right ages. An airfield belonging to the Smythe-Kensingtons just a few hours away.

Already impatient at the lack of progress in other areas, Charles gave the go-ahead for the kids to be picked up. All other problems could be smoothed over later.

They told Cyril to do his job.

And to think... They were going to take him off the pay roll later that month for unsatisfactory results.

It was almost fate that they were supposed to have THESE kids from THIS place.

A few days passed... As the Smythe-Kensingtons anxiously waited for news.

They'd already told Penelope a nonsense story about adopting two twins from an awful orphanage in America... And she was squealing with delight at the thought of having a couple of siblings to play with.

Especially, a new sister.

Just when the rich couple were about to give up on Cyril and his plan to get what they desired most...

He called back.

The pigeons were in the sack.

Quickly leaving Penelope in the more-than-capable hands of Christine, their made their way over to the States via private jet.

They wanted to be ABSOLUTELY sure the merchandise wasn't faulty... Or, it would be tossed back.

And by 'tossed back'... They meant killed.

After all... The Smythe-Kensingtons couldn't risk being identified by anyone, could they?

Fortunately (Or unfortunately, if you think the twins are suffering a fate worse than death), the twins JUST passed the seal of approval, and were dutifully adopted there and then.

Whether they like it or not.

After handing Cyril the briefcase full of money, with an explosive device hidden underneath due to go off in five minutes...

(Remember what I said about the couple doing ANYTHING to avoid detection?!)

They drugged the boy and the girl... And got busy.

First of all, there was the long journey back...

Then. there was the bribing and threatening of the authorities to keep quiet that they'd passed through that way...

Then it was makeover time.

Obviously, with both twins having dark brown hair, something would have to be done about that.

The entire line of Smythe-Kensington was redheads, after all... And they wanted their new offspring to fit in.

So, using a dye (unavailable on the market) which was so powerful it not only changed the colour of the hair, but the ROOTS too...

(Meaning that, even if it was cut off and grew back... It would STILL be red...)

Both twins, still unconscious, were stripped naked, and adminstered this treatment in the bathtub together...

As well as a thorough wash all around, to get rid of that 'poor people' stench.

Of course, being as lifeless as store dummies, it was very hard to bathe them properly due to their uncooperation...

The whole routine took more than an hour... And the servants who took on the arduous task insisted on being paid double.

Afterwards, both children were dried off and laid out, unclothed, on the bed... While their new 'parents' got a proper look at them.

Charles was reasonably happy with what he saw with Marmaduke... The hair dye was drying nicely, and would make him a redhead forever... There was a stupid birthmark on his head, but that could be removed by surgery one day... He seemed a little scrawny, but that would be solved by lots of sessions at their private gym... Yes, he could grow to learn to accept this boy as his new son.

He turned around to his wife, to tell her he was ready to have the children dressed, so the first photos could be taken of them to put on the front of their fake birth certificates, passports, party invitations etc...

When he noticed her going mad with a pair of scissors.

SNIP SNIP. SNIP SNIP.

Brownish red hair flying everywhere.

Charles immediately grabbed his out of control spouse. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He shouted at her, looking down at his new daughter, whose hair now looked very odd.

Down to her waist one side, down to her neck the other.

"Why should SHE be allowed to have lovely long hair at her age... When I WASN'T?!" Sobbed Mavis, putting her head onto her husband's shoulder. "I had to have it cut every time it reached a few centimetres... All because my parents were terrified of NITS!" She flung her arms around him, bawling loudly.

Charles sighed deeply... He'd heard this story before. That would explain why Mavis treated Penelope in exactly the same way. "Okay, fine..." He told her. "But, we'll have to come up with some story as to why it's so short at the soiree we're having... Do you think you can come up with a good reason?"

"YES, YES OF COURSE!" She immediately stopped crying, and went back to cutting off great big hunks of hair." And, just like I had to... I'll trim her hair every week... So it'll never be more than a few inches long again. HA HA HA!" She resumed her task, with so much zeal that the mansion's gardener would be proud.

Charles shook his head in exasperation... Even he, the monster that he was, was frightened of his wife sometimes.

After reducing Florence's long locks to a length not much longer than a crew-cut, a couple more things needed to be done, the wealthy pair realised.

First, green contact lenses were given to both children... Both Smythe-Kensingtons HATED brown, and besides, now the new additions looked like the rest of their family.

Also, Florence's braces were removed and put with the rest of her and Dipper's old clothes to be burnt. "I'm not attending any social gatherings with THAT thing sticking out of her mouth" sniffed Mavis.

Then, it was time for the photos to be taken. Throughout the rest of the day, the out-of-it twins were changed into various outfits that used to belong to the senior Smythe-Kensingtons, and images were snapped for various documents that were needed to confirm their identity, spread the word about their arrival... Etc.

Occasionally, it looked like the effects of the drugs were wearing off, as one of the twins started to stir... As soon as that happened, one of either Charles or Mavis was always on hand with a syringe full of sedative that would have them back slumbering peacefully again.

The following days were busy too, as the measurements for the twin's new wardrobe were made, and rooms were set up for the day they were ready to be awakened. The Smythe-Kensingtons wanted their new children to have at LEAST a dozen outfits before ending their enforced unconsciencess...

Penelope came to see her new brother and sister while they were still asleep, and she fell in love with both of them at first sight... Even inventing nicknames for Florence and Marmaduke on the spot. She was told they were having an extended nap like Sleeping Beauty in the fairytale... And if she was a very good girl, did all her chores, was polite, and took all her physical punishment that week with no complaints, they might just wake up.

So, that's what she did. Even when her mother whacked her with a skillet repeatedly for forgetting to flush the toilet.

Because, it would all be worth it. Soon, she'd have a big brother and sister to look after her. She could withstand hours of pain for THAT, surely?

Ouch.

Finally, it was all ready. The embroidered clothes had all been finished. All suits for Marmaduke, All dresses for Florence. The bedrooms were fully furnished. Blue for the boy, and pink for the girl. Neither child was given any injection that night, so they'd awaken in their new lives during the next day... And both Charles and Mavis were ready to help them adapt in what ever way they needed.

Perhaps, assimilate would have been a better word.

In reality, it had been a bit of a strain. These kids had obviously come from a culture where there were no boundaries whatsoever.

Charles had had to discipline his new son frequently with his cane, and then had to cover up the bruises using the same expensive make-up they applied to Penelope.

And from what he had heard, his wife had to do the exact same thing to Florence. Ah well, as soon as the posh party was out of the way, and there was no-one left to impress, they could get back to displaying the children's cuts and bruises more openly.

If the violence didn't force them to change their ways, looking in the mirror at their horribly scarred and damaged skin might just do the trick.

Their diets would have to change, too... There was no eating of high calorie or sugary foods in the Smythe-Kensington household. If the new additions didn't like it... They could starve to death.

Other difficulties, like Marmaduke's lack of muscles, Florence's inability to accept her place as a female, and the pair's horrible accents and non-understanding of Spanish, could be solved by rigorous training.

After all, both had six years before they were considered 'The Finished Article'.

And, Charles and Mavis were going to work damn hard to make sure both of their new children were going to live up to the goals they set for them.

Using ANY means necessary.

What they DIDN'T expect though, was at the social occasion Charles had specifically set up to show them off to the world...

Was being infiltrated by an odd looking aircraft which seemed intent on destroying his mansion, and frightening his distinguished guests half to death.

At first, he was as panic stricken as he ever was, seeing this bedlam unfurl in front of him.

His party... RUINED.

His living quarters... WRECKED.

A few good sla... servants DEAD.

But, being the intelligent, rational man he was...

It didn't take him long to reassess the situation...

And cheer up considerably.

What did the destruction of ONE mansion matter?

He had another two just as large in the northern part of Mexico.

And servants were as easy to replace as the socks on his feet.

Mexico was the capital of cheap labour, after all.

As for his guests, whose evening had been spoiled by this rogue aircraft, well that might take a bit of explaining...

But he had more than enough cash to compensate them for any 'inconvenience'.

(And their destroyed vehicles)

So, he was sure that everything would work out in the end.

There was one thing that puzzled him though...

What the heck was that thing flying overhead now...

Where did it come from...

And what were it's intentions?

Charles knew he had a LOT of enemies.

But he couldn't think of any that would be audacious enough to attack him this way...

Or stupid, considering the amount of other well-off people present at that location...

There had to be at LEAST 5% of the world's richest there alone that day...

Not very smart, unless you want to make a lot of powerful foes...

Then, it hit him.

OF COURSE! THE CHILDREN!

There was no other possible explanation for this unsolicited intrusion.

Maybe those kids came from better stock than he thought.

(Although, to look at the way they were before, you wouldn't have thought so)

If the plane were here to rescue them...

If that was the only reason... Then the solution was easy.

He looked down at Marmaduke, still gripped between his legs, watching the airplane on it's destructive jaunt.

He stared at Florence, still in her scanty bikini, held by his wife, as the girl desperately tried to run for shelter.

Everyone else was screaming and losing their heads, going around in circles.

Not Charles and Mavis Smythe-Kensington, though.

This pair of indomitable crooks had survived much worse situations than this.

And now, with a nod of recognition between them...

It was time they got out of another 'impossible' situation.

Wordlessly, they walked over to each other, children in tow...

Got out their portable syringes...

And pointed them right at their young necks.

Of course, the injectors contained nothing more deadly than a standard anaesthetic

But those on the plane didn't know that...

And neither did Marmaduke and Florence, who bristled upon feeling the sharpness of the needle...

And stood stock still.

Charles had no idea if the pilot(s) could see them from so far up...

But considering the technology already apparent in the aircraft, with the firepower it packed...

It was a pretty safe bet.

And so it proved, as within a few minutes of the Smythe-Kensingtons holding their young charges hostage...

The plane seemed to stop firing altogether.

Charles let out an evil laugh of triumph.

His hunch had been proved right... AGAIN.

Although, it was too late for their mansion, which was now just a smoking heap of rubble.

And the remains of the cars and helicopters which took their guests to the now abandoned party lay everywhere, their passengers cowering behind what was left.

The Smythe-Kensington name might suffer as a result.

Still... No matter... They still had Marmaduke and Florence.

And, no force on Earth could take them away from there.

As if things couldn't get any better for the billionaire couple...

They suddenly heard the sound of many planes in the sky...

And missiles being launched...

Followed by the wonderful sight of the aircraft which had ruined their evening...

Being blown up in mid air.

It was all Charles could do to stop himself from doing a little jig.

He KNEW it was a good idea to befriend the Mexican Minister For Defence.

Thanks to his shameless wooing of the man given that position...

The response time for this sort of incident was probably about an hour faster than it otherwise would have been...

He'd already recieved assurances from the Mexican President that there would be no investigation into their suddenly acquired two children.

(Amazing what a healthy campaign donation will do)

So this was just the cherry on the cake.

Although...

What's this...

He could see two parachutes in the sky...

It looked like the pilots had survived after all...

Charles stared at them from a distance...

They both looked like old men...

He thought they might be younger...

Oh well, no matter...

He saw police cars approaching at a distance...

They'd be here, by the time those idiots landed...

Those elderly dudes would be arrested, thrown in jail...

And Charles would 'arrange' something while they were inside, so regardless of the length of the sentence...

They'd never see the outside world again.

Heh heh heh.

...

Suddenly, Marmaduke...

Who, along with Florence, had been looking at the ground in fear all this time...

Looked up for a minute... And spotted the slowly descending figures...

His eyes opened wide...

And, despite the threat of death being pushed against his jugular...

Can't help himself...

"STAN... AND, FORD!" He yells out.

This quickly attracted the attention of Florence, who also jolted to attention.

It isn't long before she fidgeted in the grasp of Mavis, shouting.

"STAN! FORD! HELP US!" She was even louder than her brother.

Charles yelled at Marmaduke to keep quiet...

Mavis kicked Florence in the leg to ensue her silence...

But nothing seemed to do any good...

All they do is make a racket...

And the parachutes seem to be arriving faster and faster...

While the police cars still look to be some way off...

Oops, faulty calculations alert, Charles.

Unsure of what to do next, the Smythe-Kensingtons backed away from where the two old men looked like they were going to land...

Still keeping their syringes in place... And still keeping a firm hold on the children, despite more and more resistence from the struggling pre-teens.

It's a contest to see who can get there first:

Two old men...

Or about fifty police cars.

And, for once...

The pensioners win.

As soon as Ford and Stan got onto terra firma...

They looked at the Smythe-Kensington duo with an expression of pure hate...

Seriously, we're talking about a gaze that could turn milk into yoghut here.

Ford whipped out his high tech ray gun...

And Stanley grabbed er... a plank of wood...

And they confronted the evil pair.

"GIVE US BACK OUR KIDS!" Shouted Stanley, ready to bust some heads.

"OR I'LL DISINTREGRATE YOU!" Exclaimed Ford, charging his pistol.

"OH GRUNKLES, WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH IS AWFUL!" Florence gushed "LOOK AT WHAT THEY'RE MAKING ME WEAR... LOOK AT WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO MY HAIR... AND, THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY CUTIE FLAKES HERE!" She screeched, under Mavis's arm.

"THEY'VE BEATEN ME UP, GIVEN ME A BATH WITHOUT MY CONSENT... AND NOW, THEY'RE TRYING TO ARRANGE MY WEDDING! AT 12!" Marmaduke also wasn't impressed at his treatment since arriving north of the border.

"It's okay... Dipper, Mabel... We've got this... We'll get you back safely... We promise..." Ford reassured his nephew and niece, all the time keeping his eyes trained on their abductors.

"DIPPER... MABEL?!" Charles and Mavis looked at each other, before bursting out into spontaneous laughter. "THOSE were your old names?! You should be thanking us for changing them... I've never heard such rubbish names in all my life!" Charles openly mocked them.

"NO... Those are our CURRENT names... For NOW and FOREVER!" Marmaduke huffed. "And you two are the WORST PARENTS EVER! LET US GO... NOW!" He desperately tried to push Charles's arm out of the way.

"YEAH, I SECOND THAT!" Florence lost her temper too. "And you should look in that kennel over there... To see what good caregivers they are! Their only daughter... Tied up, treated like a dog, covered head to toe in scars and bruises! Yeah... Mother and Father of the year... Right here!" She pointed at the doghouse positioned next to the now destroyed mansion.

Mabel using sarcasm... She really MUST be upset, Ford noted.

Whereas Stanley was more focused on the fact he nearly blew up a kennel with a little girl inside.

Ulp.

Charles was not impressed at 'his' children's defiance. "You two have overstepped the line this time" he growled." When we get to our new home later on, I'm afraid I'm going to have to punish you both most severely. I didn't want it to come to this, but I'm afraid you've left me no option..."

"ARE YOU FOR REAL?!" Stanley scoffed. "You're not going anywhere with them. You're cornered. All your servants and guests have run for the hills. It's just you... And us. I know who I'd put all my money on coming out of this confrontation alive... And it ain't you snobs. Another thing you should know: I'm one hell of a gambler."

"Just give us our children back... Unless you want to be as much a smouldering heap of ashes as your mansion is now" Ford added, taking aim at the Smythe-Kensingtons. "You've lost, Accept it. NO-ONE beats the Pines boys."

He and his brother exchanged a quick glance. Just like old times...

"Are you SURE about that?" Sniffed Charles, as arrogant as ever. "Your mode of transport is destroyed. You have to pass about a hundred checkpoints just to get out of the country. And my people are EVERYWHERE. Did you think about THAT?" He added, with a touch of haughtiness,

Ford and Stanley gulped a little. No, they hadn't.

Relishing in their discomfort, Charles mentioned something else. "Oh, and there's the small matter of what's behind you..."

"YEAH RIGHT! You honestly think we'd fall for that one?!" Stanley was unconvinced.

"Er, Stanley... I think you better..." Marmaduke started his sentence.

"WHAT IS IT BOY, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEROIC RESCUE?!" Stanley had somewhat let things get to his head.

"But Ssttaann..." Florence whimpered, spotting something as well...

"LOOK I TOLD YOU... I'M DEALING WITH IT!" Stanley was sick of all the interruptions.

Well, he was about to have one more.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, SENOR!" A loud voice sounded.

Even without turning around, Stanley and Ford could tell they were surrounded by armed officers.

Charles snidely smirked. The cavalry had FINALLY arrived.

And this time... There was no escape for the brothers.

Or... was there?

"


	11. Chapter 11

Ford and Stan stood there, weapons in hand, multitudes of armed officers to the back of them, grandchildren held hostage with deadly syringes at the front, completely at a loss for what to do.

Sure, the older twins had been known for their last-minute escapes on more than one occasion, during their adventure-packed youth together, but this was a nailbiter even by those lofty standards.

No-one looked like budging an inch. Mavis and Charles stood resolute, their needles trained on their kids, who were formerly known as Mabel and Dipper, determined to keep ahold of the children THEY picked out to continue their dynasty. No-one was going to take them away, especially a pair of ugly old men from the lowest income bracket of society.

The fact that the two children they'd had illegally snatched had homes, loved ones and lives of their own in another country didn't even enter their train of thought. Mavis and Charles were a couple of very twisted individuals (in case that hadn't been made perfectly clear by now) who could ALWAYS justify their actions in their heads, whatever the cost.

Any good psychiatrist worth his salt would have diagnosed them as 'psychopaths'. The same guy would have been found in the undergrowth with his face caved in within a day.

Translation: DON'T cross them.

As for the cops cloistered around the Grunkles, they were a pretty ragtag looking bunch indeed. Unshaven. Scruffy. Poised to shoot at the slightest provocation.

Not to mention, extremely well paid off by the Smythe-Kensingtons. To call them 'corrupt' would actually be an insult to your usual backhander-taking officer, who would usually at least try to do SOME good in their carrer. These unscrupulous dirtbags LIVED to served the wealthy and famous, nothing else mattered to them, except getting their weekly brown envelope full of bribe money.

When you consider what a state Mexico was in, with the drug wars and rampant murder going on everywhere, these men could have done some serious good. But, nope... All they did was basically take easy cash for covering up unspeakable crimes commited by the well-off and well-connected, before probably getting drunk and kicking a few beggars in the street on the way home.

If Karma were a thing, and the world was a fair place, something nasty would have befallen individuals of this ilk long ago. Alas, if they were to meet the grisly fate they truly deserved, it hadn't happened yet.

Getting back to the present, the situation, as you can well imagine was getting increasingly tense. Prone to panic when things were at their bleakest, Stan found himself relying on his more cool-headed brother for an escape route out of this precarious predicament. Surely, the smarty-pants egghead had something up his sleeve. He'd bring it out... Any minute now...

Unwilling to take his eyes off the nefarious Smythe-Kensington's, Stan observed his sibling out of the corner of his vision. Ford looked as though he was assessing the situation thoroughly. Calculating all the possible venues of escape. Figuring out how to take out Mavis and Charles, while still keeping the grandkids safe. And somehow, without falling under fire from the gun-wielding mob behind them.

Finally, Ford's attention fell on the terrified faces of Florence and Marmaduke, who at this point were so numb with fear they'd both stopped struggling, and seem resigned to their fate either way. It was the children the genius inventor focused on the most, before he made his final decision. 'AT LAST' thought Stan, as he saw his brother about to move 'The knucklehead is about to save the day'.

He couldn't WAIT to see what Ford had planned.

A teleportation device in his shoe?

A hidden explosive in his jacket?

A ray gun that exclusively targets snobs in his undies?

What high-tech gadget would get them out of this fine mess? Stan held his breath.

That's why it came as a bit of a shock, when Ford's next move wasn't to produce some miracle invention that solved everything instantly...

But, to throw down his disintregator...

And hold his hands in the air.

You see, life is not an action movie.

Arnold Schwarzaneggar and Sylvester Stallone are not always going to be on hand to run into the fray at the last second, bullets blazing, while reciting a humourous catchphase.

There comes a time where you face unsurmountable odds... and there really is only one option on the table.

And, thats exactly the direction Ford took.

Come on... Surrounded by more than one hundred men armed to the teeth, and with the lives of your beloved grandkids at stake, was there any other viable recourse to take, other than abject surrender?

Seriously?

Unfortunately, Stan wasn't quite on the same page as his brother "What are you doing, genius?" he whispered to his sibling " I thought were cooking up some great scheme that was going to get us out of this..."

"Sorry, Stan." Ford looked desolutely down at the ground. " I've run out of ideas, and I'm not willing to put the children's lives at risk in a vain attempt at a rescue, which will most likely fail anyway. I'm afraid, under the circumstances, the only thing I can think of is to give ourselves up for now, and maybe come back later when things are less hot...

"YOU IDIOT!" Stan was surprisingly irate in his answer, and spattered his brother with saliva in his angry reply. "If they arrest us now, and take us to a Mexican prison, there IS no escape. I've been a 'guest' inside one of those places... And believe me, it ain't no picnic. Also do you have ANY idea what kind of life these kids will have, if we give up on them now? Especially Mabel? And you're just going to call it quits?! Well, I won't! I'll show these idiots who's in charge..." WHACK!

That was the sound of Ford giving his brother a hefty blow on the back of the head with his fist, rendering Stan unconscious almost immediately. The last expression the Mystery Shack owner wore, before his world faded to black, was a complicated one.

Betrayal?

Disappointment?

Shock?

Prbably a mixture of all of the above.

And, as he sank to the floor, the screams of Florence and Marmaduke begun anew, as they realised their only chance of getting away from this awful lifestyle they'd been forced into had gone completely...

Ford could afford to console himself with the fact he really had very little choice.

The policemen to the back of him and Stan were getting more than a bit antsy...

And they'd have LOVED an excuse to drill a new hole in both him and his brother's heads, if Stan had carried on with his heedless tantrum.

Factor into that the ruthlessness of the Smythe-Kensingtons, who might have desperately wanted to keep the children that they'd stolen...

But wouldn't hesitate to stick a deadly injection in both kids if they didn't get their way...

And, really there was nothing else to do.

He just hoped Dipper and Mabel would understand one day...

That what he did, he did for them.

No matter how rough the future got.

Needless to say, within a few seconds of both men being incapacitated, the cavarly moved in.

Both brothers were roughly grabbed, kicked, punched, before being handcuffed, and led away...

Or in Stan's case, carried away.

As bruised and battered as he was, and feeling so guilty he feared his guts were about to spill out...

Ford couldn't help but glance back, at the two kids he was leaving behind, who's teenage years would no doubt be full of suffering and woe.

Mabel, who would now forever be known as Florence, wearing her immodest bikini no twelve year should be made to adorn, looked completely unrecognisable with her lovely discoloured hair lopped off, and the utter hopelessness conveyed in her tears.

Dipper, given the new title Marmaduke, looked Ford dead in the eye, his hero worship of the author of the journals completely shattered. By abandoning him and his sister to a fate arguably worse than death, the old man had lost his trust forever.

And there was so getting away from the triumphant sneers of Mavis and Charles Kensington-Smythe, who even had the cheek to give Ford a little wave as he was bundled into a waiting car. Their mansion may have been destroyed, their party may have been ruined, and their guests may have fled in disarray...

But, they still had the children.

And, no force on Earth could take them away from them now.

They'd move. Have another get-together. Rebuild their reputation.

And this time there would be NO mistakes.

The young twins might be strong mentally now, but through years of beatings, abuse and training, they would adapt to their way of thinking.

After all, just look at what a good job they did on Penelope, still chained up in her kennel while all this was going on.

Such punishments would now become a regular fixture for Florence and Marmaduke...

Until they were broken.

Brainwashing the twins wouldn't be a easy task, for children who'd had all the freedom of the world for the best part of their young lives...

But it WOULD be accomplished...

WHATEVER the cost.

Such awful thoughts crept through the mind of the victorious married couple, as Ford was seated next to a still knocked-out Stan, just before being driven away to jail...

"I'm sorry I couldn't get them back, brother..." the usually stoic Ford sobbed to his unresponsive brother. "But I swear... On our parents, and Shermy's lives... One day, we WILL escape. And we WILL get them back. Even if we have to keep trying forever... You have my solemn word..."

Such words seemed remarkedly hollow, and as the crowd began to disperse, the area cleared once more. Charles Kensington-Smythe turned to his new son and daughter, and in an intimidating voice that set their teeth on edge, told them: "Now, let's discuss your punishment for today's little scene, shall we..."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Sorry, K4ramm3ll. I think my ending is gonna be better now.


	12. Chapter 12

SIX YEARS LATER...

I sat on the top of my balcony. It was the middle of the afternoon, and a beautiful day. I could see the marketplace from my vantage point, and all around me there were tanned locals selling their wares, and scruffy tourists purchasing them en masse, their cheap cameras jangling from their necks. There was lots of curios there, and in a former life, I might have been tempted to join the throngs.

Not now, though. Such trivialities didn't appeal to me at all. As a Smythe-Kensington, it was beneath me to hang around with such peasants. Everything I could ever want, was provided for me, and I could never want for anything else. I sneered at the commoners below, with their mouldy fruit and tacky ornamentals, before putting my shades back on to enjoy the balmy weather.

I'd just returned from the beach with my new husband, and had such a marvellous time! Because of my illustrious family name, they were able to clear out an entire one mile radius of the area for our own use, and it was GREAT! I laughed at the crying faces of the young children being pushed off the sand with their parents in tow, leaving behind their sandcastles to be stamped on and abandoned shrimp nets to be torn apart by me. Finally, a chance for someone else to endure the misery I...

NO. Papa and Mama never hurt me during all those times I was bad. They were simply correcting my behaviour. Whenever they beat me till I bled, that was GOOD. Whenever they locked me in that tiny closet for hours, that was GOOD. When they had me pinned me down, and shouted in my ear repeatedly that no-one would ever love me like them, that was GOOD. I now am a much better person than... Whoever I was before.

I am Florence Smythe-Kensington, 18 years old. I hate sweaters, over-cheerful people, sweet foods, pigs and boy bands. I like frilly dresses, serious individuals, bland food to control my weight, designer dogs and classical music.

My Papa knows whats best for me. My Mama knows what's best for me. It's been that way, for as long as I can remember. Things are so much easier this way. I never have to make any decisions myself, I just obey. I learned long ago the consequences of ignoring them, and I won't lie and say that on occasion their methods weren't rather brutal. But it doesn't matter anymore! It was all a means to an end!

Look at me now! Happily married, to a wonderful man I'm sure I'll learn to adore, on honeymoon, at this fabulous locale. He think I'm such a prize catch, he never let's me out of his sight ! He loves me so much, I'm not allowed to talk to other men, even the waiter. Now, THAT'S commitment!

Sometimes though, I can get a little selfish... I almost didn't feel like making love last night, due to my own self-centred needs. Not to worry, though... He soon put me straight on my errant behaviour. He told me my Mama was only a phone call away if I didn't comply straightaway. I don't know why, but that threat always has the desired effect of making me give in immediately! After all, she wants a grandaughter by this time next year, and who am I to deny her that, after all she's done for me? My hubby has a real way with words!

My little sister Penelope has come along for the trip as well, and we get along famously! She helps me to clean around the house, cook the meals... She's my precious little helper! I even play cards with her sometimes. Not too much, though... Looking after my beloved is a full time job, after all. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Whichever man marries my sis in a few years, is going to be a lucky chappie indeed! A highly tuned domestic goddess in the making!

My brother Marmaduke is my one regret. Unlike me, he refused to see what a fantastic favour Mama and Papa did for us, by removing me and him from our old, baseless lives, and giving us this marvellous opportunity to start anew. I keep telling him not to struggle, to let Mama and Papa help him, but no... He refuses to see the light. Sometimes I see him look at me and cry, before mumbling the word 'sorry' over and over again. I have no idea why. I've never been happier!

I haven't seen him now for at least six months, and he didn't attend my wedding. I hear snatches of conversation from servants, gossip that he's been sent to a 're-education centre' and he's made friends there with a person called 'Pacifica Northwest'. I'm not sure what this all means, but I hope he's alright, wherever he is. I trust one day he'll return, and be just as content as I am with his new positive outlook!

After all, we must have the best parents in the world! We must have moved house... Or rather, mansion, at least once a year for the last six, so by the time I'm bored of the location, it's time to go on to somewhere else! My Mama and Papa tell it's because 'bad people' are after me and my brother, and they are always 'on our tail', so we can't linger too long at any of our many properties. They'd do anything to keep us safe... Why can't Marmaduke see that? Oh, well...

I rustle my short red hair, which I'm supposed to cut tonight, seeing as Mama isn't here to do it for me, and look out to the sun. Here I am... In the city of my namesake... Sipping a glass of champagne, feeling like the luckiest woman in the world. I may not have picked this destination, or had any say in the trip whatsoever, but I love it here! It just goes to show... Hubby always know best! Don't forget that, ladies!

Speaking of the darling, he'll be back real soon to take me to dinner. I know this, because the guy he pays to watch me while he's away is tapping his watch impatiently. Time for me to get off my recliner, and spend a few hours in the powder room, making myself look pretty for him. This black eye and facial scarring isn't going to cover itself, after all! A big job ahead, indeed!

Can't forget about putting my coloured contacts in... VERY important, Who wants horrible brown eyes, anyway? My only real problem right now is with my teeth, as when I close my jaw, it feels as though both ends are uneven. Oh well, I'm sure that'll sort itself out as I get older!

Must dash! Toodles! Remember: Always live life to the fullest :)

From Florence Kensington-Smythe xx


End file.
